The Offworld Collection Funded, Celebrates Games

Who pays for games journalism? Sometimes, you do: The Offworld Collection, which bundles a year of features from Offworld.com together into a book, has been funded on Kickstarter. The project needed $30,000 to go ahead and is currently sitting at $36,846 with 24 days to go. Better yet, all of the stretch goals listed currently will lead to the writers being paid better.

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Ark: Survival Evolved’s New Grappling Hooks, Anti-Cheat

Update your lists, gang: another video game has added a grappling hook and so become a Real Video Game. Ark: Survival Evolved [official site] is the latest to realise what’s actually, really, properly, genuinely important to video games. You can even grapple onto dinosaurs. Even flying ones.

Dear lower-case-v video lower-case-g games, I hope you’re enjoying your baby numbers and noises and data and pictures and words and emotions, but I hope you buck your ideas up. Swing on by when you’re ready to talk. A xx

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Poop And Profit: Slime Rancher’s Fantastic Farming

Slime Rancher [official site] is the cutest game about selling shit ever made. Admittedly it’s probably the only game about selling shit ever made, but I don’t know for certain and googling “Shit­selling games” tends to bring up commercial flops like Bulletstorm rather than games that literally involve the flogging of faecal matter.

If you’ve seen anything of Monomi Park’s debut, which slithered onto Early Access a couple of weeks back leaving a silvery trail in its wake, then its love for excrement may come as a surprise. Aesthetically Slime Rancher is a thundering wave of colour, like a circus struck by a tsunami, and the eponymous slimes are so clearly designed to be child­friendly that it’s surprising to discover they have any orifices at all.

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Sherlock Holmes: The Devil’s Daughter Cursing May

Sherlock Holmes has already survived an encounter with Cthulhu, I can’t imagine that The Devil’s Daughter [official site] will cause the great detective too much bother. That said, maybe she has something to prove. She’ll certainly have to pull more pranks than her old da to be taken seriously, and even then folks will say she hasn’t earned her cape. (Yes, I did read this about Chris Eubank Jr. the other day.) “Are… are you Satan?” quivering mortals ask. “Well, I’m a Satan” she sighs.

Point is, Sherlock Holmes: The Devil’s Daughter will arrive on May 27th, Frogwares have announced. I mean, I assume it’s about the literal daughter of the literal Devil.

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Have You Played… Total Distortion?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

Thought you were hot? Guess what? You’re not.

Total Distortion holds the highest honour of featuring one of the most entertaining Game Over screens of all time, but it’s so much more than that. It’s a psychobilly freakout.
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Amazon Lumberyard Is A Free CryEngine Spin-off

Amazon have launched their own free game engine based on Crytek’s CryEngine, fancied up to focus on online games. It’s an interesting idea with an awful name: Amazon Lumberyard. It’ll simplify setting up online stuff and fancy features like ‘Twitch Plays’ for devs, is the idea, tied into Amazon’s various server hosting services and Twitch (Amazon bought ‘em for $970 million, remember).

No, I don’t get whether it’s meant to be some sort of ‘lumber is made into paper which becomes books which we started with’ joke or something?

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Consume! Produce! Click! Cookie Clicker Version 2 Out

Have you figured out how you’ll procrastinate at work today? Stop. I’ll tell you: you’ll be clicking on cookies in the new version of Cookie Clicker [official site].

I still fondly remember when the feeling of “What is this and why do I keep clicking seriously what’s wrong with me?” began shifting to “Oh no, what… what’s happening? Why are they so… fleshy?” as a horror story unfolded through clicking to bake imaginary cookies. After a long stretch in beta, version 2.0 of the free browser-based idle game is now live. Look, I just want to see what’s new, and then I’ll stop, okay.

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Hitmakers: Hitman Beta Feb 19th

Hitman [official site] is so close you can almost see the reflection of your face in his highly polished bonce. As you’ve probably gathered by now, the game itself will be released episodically, and the initial release will only include one sandbox location – Paris. The beta contains two different missions, however, set in a secret facility. The first of those missions is a set, recreating a party on board a yacht, and ol’ 47 has to sneak on board as part of his training. An origin story of sorts.

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Dying Light Raises Expansion And Enhanced Edition

Today’s a big day for Dying Light [official site], with three new releases coming to the open-world, zombie-slaying, parkouring FPS. I’ll try to explain this slowly, because it’s all enough that there’s a diagram explaining it all. So! Today brings The Following, the paid expansion which adds a new area and vehicles to Dying Light. Today also brings a free update with many tweaks and improvements to Dying Light. Lastly, today brings Dying Light: The Following – Enhanced Edition, which combines the base game (and that patch, natch) and The Following plus all its other DLC. Get it? Got it? Good.

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