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Pure Delight: The Floor Is Jelly

The cutest videogame

Oh jeez. Every single aspect of The Floor Is Jelly looks entirely too adorable. It's also one of those rare instances where a game's title describes precisely what it's about instead of obfuscating everything with words like "Reckoning," "Ops," and "Saga Sagaaaaa SAGA neener-neener-neener, King.com." No matter where you end up - in a forest, underground, rooting through somebody's kitchen - the floor is made of jelly. You can't stop bouncing. But then, honestly, why would you ever want to?

Unsurprisingly, The Floor Is Jelly is about the floor being jelly. So said developer Ian Snyder:

"Who hasn't dreamt, at some point, of filling a pool full of jello and swimming in it? In some of us, that dream never died. Some of us kept dreaming: what if the whole street was jello? Or the continent? The world!? The Floor is Jelly posits a universe made of jello, made purely for one's own amusement. No longer need we look to our walls and our floors and sigh, 'How solid! How sadly immalleable! How I wish for a world consisting only of Non-Newtonian fluids!' That world has arrived, via the dark magic of videogames, as The Floor is Jelly."

I very much like the way this man thinks. Someday, I hope he's elected as god emperor so that his mad vision can come true. For now, though, we'll just have to make do with the fact that The Floor Is Jelly will be out on January 30th, aka next week. It's also got a soundtrack by Fez music maestro Disasterpeace, which I'm saying now because I couldn't find anywhere else to put that information.

Anyway, I want to chew on The Floor Is Jelly's world. I've never said that about a game before. But seriously, don't you just, like, want to feel your incisors ineffectively ricochet off its rippling majesty? It can't just be me.

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