Star Trek To Feature Ship From Star Trek

Star Trek has been in development for over four hundred and fifty thousand years now. The game's set between the two J.J. Abrams films, yet still calls itself simply "Star Trek", presumably in a bid to be as impossible to Google for as is humanly imaginable. (They may as well have called it "Britney Spears".) The release is currently set for April 23rd in the States, then it slowly drifts to Europe by the 26th. And today they're promising us "the opportunity to explore the USS Enterprise." And, the slow drip of two new screenshots (clickem to biggem).

The degree to which they're going to offer that isn't clear. I really hope it doesn't mean you can take a turbo lift from the bridge to the transporter room, and similar, and that's your lot. If they're really creating the whole Enterprise, and making it fully explorable, that'd not only explain why the game's taking so long, but also be a really attractive offer to ST nerdholes. The slightly vague suggestions in a recent press release offer hope:

"Their battles will take them into familiar locations, like the bridge, transporter room and the engine room – but also deep into many areas of the ship that have never been seen on film before, including the Enterprise’s turbolift shafts, observation lounge, engineering decks and officer’s quarters."

Which does sound promising. But their claim that "what fans have known of the iconic starship has largely been limited to what is seen in movies and on television" really does seem to be ignoring much of the 52 (no, really) Star Trek games that have come before it. I recall crawling through many a shaft in various Star Trek FPSs.

Says exec producer Brian Miller,

"The Enterprise is not just a ship – she is one of the most important characters in all of Star Trek. Our goal from day one was to make sure that the Enterprise looks, feels and even sounds as true to life as anything players have ever seen. Hopefully, players will come away feeling as if they’re ready to be part of the crew themselves!"

Ha ha ha! Yes, Brian, you silly goose. If the game causes them to become seriously deluded and in need of immediate psychological intervention, it surely will.

In the game you play as both Kirk and Spock, combating the dastardly ways of Gorn, who is off one of the original series episodes. "Arena" apparently. I've watched TOS episodes an awful lot during my life, and I'm fairly certain they only ever made three of them. The one with the green lady, the one where Kirk fights Spock, and the one with the killer pizzas. I file it under "Poddington Peas", which I've seen three times, and each time was about the peas forgetting another pea's birthday.