A purely hypothetical scenario. I announce that I’m writing a new feature on RPS and, if you so desire, you can buy a physical edition of the post. Naturally, it will be printed on a bloodied replica of a woman’s trunk, limbs lopped away, but bikini and breasts thankfully intact. I say ‘naturally’ because the story is about a game with zombies in it and I say ‘thankfully’ because the chest is more important than the zombies. Discerning readers can pop the disfigurement on their mantle. If the notion disappoints or offends people I’ll apologise, but I won’t change my ways because I certainly don’t want all of these torsos sitting in my basement. People might get the wrong idea! So, please buy my bloodied figurines and their contents. NINETY POUNDS IS ALL I ASK!