Posts Tagged ‘Ark: Scorched Earth’

Ark: Survival Evolved adds huge hyena and poo boost

Huge hyenas, wall-crawling reptiles, megasloths, toilets, and more have hit Ark: Survival Evolved [official site] in the early access dinosaur island survive ’em up’s latest content update. I’m sorry to say you cannot ride the corpse-devouring big dog, only become its best friend for ever and ever and love it and walk it every day.

I’m still fascinated by how Ark turns real(ish) creatures into video game monsters, exaggerating characteristics to create unique abilities. This translation also extends to human biological functions: poo in the toilet and you’ll get an XP buff. And in the game.

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Steam Charts: Happiness Is Just Around The Corner

Cossacks 3

I’m trying to think who it could be. I don’t really have enemies any more, or not knowingly so. Some forgotten bully from school who never left our hometown and is still obsessed with tormenting me? A fellow journalist whose article I might have drunkenly tweeted something rude about in 2009? Someone I unfollowed or unfriended because they were tiresome or awful? You Know, Those Guys? Or: all of them, working together. Pooling their life savings to buy as many copies of a certain game as they can. Make no mistake: someone’s out to get me. It’s the only possible explanation.

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Steam Charts: NOTHING EVER HAPPENS AT ALL

Meer stared at himself in the mirror. Was he really a man anymore? Or was he just a machine made of meat that endlessly pasted the same handful of game-names into a CMS post, week after week until he died?

Or was he dead already? Was this hell? Yes, that must be it. What else could writing “a href=”https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/tag/Grand-Theft-Auto-V” for an eternity possibly be?

Yet still, there was faint hope in those dim, anguished eyes. Hope that one day there might be new games, new hyperlinks, new opinions to be expressed. One day. But not today.
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Steam Charts: Last Week’s Best-Sellers Today

Cos this stuff comes up in comments most every time I run one of these: these charts depict the top ten best-selling games on Steam as accumulated over the week leading up to Sunday just gone. They are not what are the top ten best-selling games at this moment in time, as seen on the front-page of Steam and which are invariably a little different. They come from this here Valve RSS feed. If there is any massaging of figures or weighing of e.g. revenue earned vs copies sold then I do not know of it, but neither can I say for certain that there is not. This is, however, pretty much all that Steam ever lets slip about what’s going on, though you can look to the guesstimates on Steam Spy if you want to try and drill down further into actual figures.

So: Steam’s ten biggest games last week. Well, nine and a half. Deus Ex has been dethroned already.

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Deserts & Dragons: Ark’s Scorched Earth Expansion Out

How do you tell the difference between a Bactrian camel and a dromedary? The Bactrian has two humps, which look like a B, while the dro- yeah, they’re different species. Different types of camel. No, they live in entirely different places too. They- no, I just thought you might like to know. I don’t know, maybe it’d be a pub quiz question. I don’t know, maybe you do pub quizzes. The- look, I don’t even know why I brought it up, as the new Ark: Survival Evolved [official site] desert expansion doesn’t even have camels. No, instead desertfolk ride a dinosaur called a Morellatops which – hey, its back does look a bit like a sat-on M! Remember that one for the pub quiz.

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