I'm no certified freeware gardener. I couldn't advise you on freeware landscaping, freeware for south-facing computers, or the best freeware for dog owners. However, even the most amateur freeware appreciator can grab a little freeware wrapped with elastic bands from by the Tesco checkout, plonk it into a vase on the desk, and write a little card pretending it's a gift. This morning I've been…