Lord Jimothy! Johncharlesfrederickathon! Kierovington IV! Quintin! It is I, Alexander Granville Cuthbert Meershire, Earl of Rotheringhampton-under-Thames. Quickly, come hither to me. Something most odd has occured. Some manner of iron box, mounted somehow upon four wheels and adorned with walls of glass, has arrived outside the stables. It is a fearsome thing, bellowing smoke and malodour. As I approach, its side lifted upwards, like the wing of a gull. All manner of unearthly lights are visible within, behind which is a chair of comfort such as I have never even dreamed. Should I… should I enter this machine, if machine it indeed be? There are switches, levers, pedals. As an inquiring mind of Her Majesty’s Elite Journalism Corps, I feel I must explore further. I shall just press this and….