Whenever I see the phrase “twin-stick shooter” I can be sure of two things. One – I want to play it. Two – I will suck so badly at it that if anyone I knew saw me playing I’d throw the controller in their face and then just run and run until I was in a different country where I’d hide in a hole with a bin lid on top. That’s why I work alone. In my underpants. And so it was that seeing BatCat Games’ P-3 Biotic has come from consoles to PC, via IndieCity and IndieVania for $4/£2.50, I once again demonstrated my own trouserless uselessness to myself and no one else.