Posts Tagged ‘Behold the Kickmen’

Behold The Kickmen can’t escape the problems of football games

Still basically a football game.

Behold The Kickmen [official site] is an almost-football sportsball game: there’s a ball and two teams trying to get it in each other’s goal via tackling, sprinting, passing and kicking. It’s only almost-football though because it has been designed by someone with a wilfull ignorance of football’s details, and who dislikes the sport but did enjoy playing classic football Amiga game Sensible Soccer. Footballers become “kickmen”, your opponent’s team is made up of “enemies”, you “do” a goal rather score one, and the pitch is circular and surrounded by walls.

It mines its own ignorance with comic intent, but I was curious whether it could move beyond the developer’s Twitter bants and stand up as an arcade sports game in its own right. Read the rest of this entry »

Very realistic football game Behold the Kickmen dribbles onto Steam in authentic and accurate way

The sign is right

Behold the Kickmen [official site], the arcade game about football, known in some parts of the world as British Football, has been released this day. It’s by Dan Marshall and Size Five Games, makers of The Swindle. Dan started working on the ball-kicker as part of a game jam but was whisked away by the locker room drama of it all until he finally ended up with an actual game, instead of a simple joke about the famously unknowable and incommunicable sport.
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Foolish football: Behold The Kickmen coming Thursday

If football is the biggest sport in England, pretending that you don’t know anything about football comes a close second. Dan Marshall, the creator of The Swindle and the bad half of Ben & Dan, is a fan of the second. His Behold the Kickmen [official site] is an arcade kick ’em up which gets football gloriously wrong, and it’s launching this Thursday. It’ll run you about three quid. Read the rest of this entry »

Behold The Kickmen adds ‘Speedball’ mode

It’s not officially called Speedball mode because that might cause upsets down the line, but Dan Marshall’s Behold the Kickmen [official site] now has a menu switch that turns it from a highly accurate football simulation into a highly accurate grim futuresport simulation. I say “highly accurate” with tongue in cheek as Kickmen is the project of Dan Marshall (he of Ben There Dan That and The Swindle), a man who does not understand or care for football. What began as a joke is now close to release and to my fooball-lovin’ eyes, it actually looks like an extremely entertaining arcade game.

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Silly Football In The Swindle Dev’s Behold The Kickmen

Here’s a curious thought experiment: what if football were played by human beings rather than sentient cars? How would they turbo boost? How would they even kick the ball? Dan Marshall – him what made The Swindle and is the mean half of Ben & Dan – has some ideas. He’s making Behold the Kickmen, a game where football is played on a round pitch by kickmen with the power to charge up and hyper-curve shots. Have a look at this imaginative vision of an alternate reality:

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