Posts Tagged ‘betrayers’

Go Team! Part 9: The Spy

I’m trying to work out what’s changed.

Spies can damage your health.

Back in Team Fortress Classic, I was all over the spy. Hell, I played under the name KING SPY! such was my delusions of grandeur – and, being such a mediocre spy, they really were delusions. But now, I only really don the Balaclava of Backstabbing when the game dictates our team needs one – an area too packed with turrets to be penetrated with anything short of a medic/heavy-ubercharge-combo, a stalemate in a narrow area with all the teams facing a single point, whatever. I do the job with surgical precision and then get the hell out.

Why don’t I love the Spy anymore? What’s changed?

After some serious head-scratching, I worked it out

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Where Did You Get That Hat? FROM US.

And we got it from Sierra and they got it from whoever they got the hat from. THIS HAT.

The Cold Dead Eyes Of A Shark

(Plus a friend hat, non-pictured)

You may remember last week we ran a competition to win this World in Conflict-o-garment. All your had to do was to reveal to us a secret which was confided to you. The most amusing, heart-breaking and generally “Oh, God, You soooooo shouldn’t have told us that. They’d kill you if they found out, and in an entirely unmetaphorical way” secret would win. As would the second best, as we had two hats. We were quite overwhelmed by the response. Overwhelmed by how many of you would sell out your friends for a cheap old hat, which is probably polluted by my head-germs. You’re bad people.

That said, the stories were good. Main themes include accidents in masturbation with house-hold fluids, several misadventures in the military of a certain middle-eastern power, improvised hair-pieces, several ironic playful non-secrets, accidentally pooing themselves in front of a minor pop-star and a frankly disturbing use for a Bioshock Big-Daddy Statuette. And many more.

But, after extremely careful and length deliberation lasting almost a whole minute, RPS’ verdict was unanimous.

The winners are Mr Caplan and Mr Dartt, who will both receiving a hat. We hope it lets you sleep at night, Betrayers most Foul and Perfidious.

(Er, I think we need your mailing addresses, guys – Jim.)