Posts Tagged ‘ClickHole’

Free Loaders: Fighting Your Way Through A Prison Brawl

All right boys, its lights out. I know you’ve all had another tough day behind bars but thems the breaks when you’re a convicted felon. Back to the cells, come on. Hey Johnny what are doing with that huge explosive propane tank? No, stop. Stop what you’re doing Johnny. Please stop.

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Becoming Governor Is Hard When You’re A Lobster-Man

If you’re one of the millions upon millions of people bummed out by the American presidential race, you need to play You Are the Cannibal Lobster-Man Of New England, Can You Become The Governor Of Maine? It’s a text adventure from Clickhole that has completely redeemed my faith in the political process. That a humble cannibalistic lobster-man could escape from captivity, eat a few scientists, and rise to start the revolution that America needs is the kind of story that would make Abraham Lincoln shed a single, presidential tear.

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Invent Star Wars In ClickHole’s Text Adventure

Do you ever think that you may be the first person to actually utter a certain sentence? That you are the first sentient being to string some words in a specific order and create entirely new meaning which was previously unknown to the universe?

To these lofty thoughts I was inspired by ClickHole’s text adventure You’re George Lucas In 1975. Can You Create ‘Star Wars’? Starring George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Akira Kurosawa, Tiger Woods, pictures of yam, and many examples of sentences that, I’m pretty confident, no human being had ever pronounced or thought before. Read the rest of this entry »

Clickhole’s Have A Low-Key Forest Adventure! Is A Laf

I like to think I know a thing or two about walking simulators – heck, I’ve even LARPed a few. So imagine my surprise when, within a minute of starting playing new walking simulator Have A Low-Key Forest Adventure! [official site], I had joined a biker gang and committed to a life of danger. Starting over, I strolled quietly through lush forest, pausing to stare at a rusty can and walking right past strange and spooky things – never stop by a cabin in the woods – until… I couldn’t help but listen to an old man weep over the thought of Johnny Cash being stung by a stingray. I’d failed again.

It is, you see, the latest text adventure from The Onion’s spin-off site Clickhole.

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This ClickHole Text Adventure Will Terrify And Inspire You

Skullshadow logo

Last time I wrote about a free miniature Choose Your Own Adventure game the response was a little muted, but hopefully this time around y’all will enjoy the recommendation a bit more. Because! This one is funnier.

The Mysterious Shadows of Skullshadow Island is featured on ClickHole, which is apparently a spin-off of classic satirical organ The Onion. I’m clearly out of the loop as I’d no idea they’d done this, but ClickHole’s mission statement of parodying sites like Buzzfeed and Upworthy is one I can get behind. The listicle is the bane of my Facebook feed.

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