Posts Tagged ‘Crystal Dynamics’

Rise Of The Tomb Raider Clings To January 28th

This is what is so exciting about archaeology: we’re always uncovering new (old) developments, learning more, and reshaping our understanding of history. As recently as yesterday, our radiocarbon dating techniques could only broadly date Rise of the Tomb Raider [official site] to a January release window. Today, a new development means that we now know a specific day: Thursday, January 28th. Isn’t progress exciting! I’ll be awfully disappointed if I don’t see, within a week, this breakthrough attributed to Albert Einstein by a Twitter account named e.g. ‘Science Is My Daddy’.

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Rise Of The Tomb Raider Coming To PC This Month

Last we heard from Rise of the Tomb Raider [official site], after people stopped being silly sausages pretending it was an Xbox One exclusive, it was due to swing round our way in “early 2016.” That was as specific as publishers Square Enix would be. Now they’ve narrowed that down a little: it’s due in January. That’s this month. This month is January. January 2016. Or ’16, to use its shortened form. The millennium is now old enough to have sex and buy National Lottery tickets. I must keep reminding myself of this. 2016. It’s January 2016.

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Watch Rise Of The Tomb Raider’s No-Kill Video

I AM INVISIBLE

Crystal Dynamics have released an alternate playthrough of Rise of the Tomb Raider‘s [official site] ‘Advancing Storm’ demo to showcase Lara’s stealth possibilities. This is probably because even though they said stealth was entirely possible that bit got lost when the main message of the original video turned into “GUNS and then THROAT SLITTING and then EXPLODING BARRELS and then SHOTGUN YOU IN THE FACE”.

Or perhaps the stealth message went astray during the bit where they explained [at 3.13 in this video] that you could set up a poison bomb in someone’s corpse and the beeping would lure an AI over and then the poisonbombcorpse would explode. Who knows.

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Falling Down: Rise Of The Tomb Raider

Just as Dark Knight Rises was mostly a tale of falling down in order to get back up again, Rise of the Tomb Raider [official site] will require Lara Croft to hit the ground hard before she even considers doing any sort of upward movement. A new 13 minute video from Gamescom sees her Jonesing around, talking about her dad’s research, stumbling, crashing, dodging bullets and – SHOCK OF SHOCKS – raiding a tomb.

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Well Duh: Rise Of The Tomb Raider Coming To PC

Remember how Square Enix were fannying about with Rise of the Tomb Raider [official site], playing tedious word games and falling silent to pretend that their neck-impaling sequel would be an Xbox exclusive when clearly it wouldn’t? You’ll never guess what: it is coming to PC after all!

Well, the word games aren’t quite over – it may or may not be exclusive to Windows 10 (more below). But yes, “early 2016” is when it’ll come our way. As I’ve been dutifully ignoring the game until Squeenix stopped playing around, I suppose now’s the time for me to flood you with details and gameplay trailers.

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This Isn’t A Post About Rise Of The Tomb Raider

Everything is so bloody stupid. In a world where major publishers like THQ can fold, and even something of the scale of Activision-Blizzard couldn’t find a buyer other than itself, you’d imagine Square Enix wouldn’t be doing absolutely everything in their power to reach as few customers as possible. But the company that recently suffered financial woes, and complained the first Tomb Raider didn’t sell enough copies, are doing exactly that. Rise Of The Tomb Raider is the sequel to the morbidly overrated Tomb Raider reboot and was previously revealed as an Xbox “exclusive” release, ensuring the vast majority of its potential sales are instantly removed. And now they’re tying up their marketing with in-store promotional brochure, Game Informer.

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