Posts Tagged ‘Diablo 3’

Schadenfriday: Diabl-NOOOOOOOOO!

Evil never sleeps. It would like to, but all those bloody horns and things just keep ruining the bed. Even a really expensive one from Dreams. It's not easy being Diablo.

Why, hello there! Diablo here. What? No. No, Diablo 3. Diablo 2 was my father. Those miserable fleshlings at Rock Paper Shotgun have asked me to cast my expert eye over you scumbags’ failed attempts at murdering me IN MY OWN ****ING HOUSE. Why? The correct assumption I might rather enjoy witnessing hours upon hours of Hardcore adventuring going straight down the crapper. In exchange for a chance to plug my favourite book, I of course agreed…

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Dialblo 3’s Witch Doctor Has Hell Toads

I'll bet he's a halloween hoot
Were you looking the other way when the Diablo 3 open beta launched last weekend? I’m sorry. If reports are to be believed, the servers wobbled like a gyroscope at the end of a good spin, so you if you missed out you probably saved yourself from being teased by the title screen. There is some comfort to be had in the Witch Doctor overview video Blizzard have just released: it’s his life story and shows how he’ll turn NPCs against each other and launch flame-engulfed bats into the faces of those that cross him. Judging by the video beneath, that seems to be everyone.
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SimCity Always-On Clarified: Needs Internet For Launch

At the coalface of bad ideas.

EA have issued a clarification to Gamespy that while you will have to have an internet connection to launch SimCity, it will not boot you off if your connection goes down. Which is to say, it’s not as egregious as others’ “always-on” DRM, but we maintain is still an unnecessary and game-crippling mistake, which we really hope they will reverse before release. That the game won’t stop working if your connection goes down sounds great, but it makes no useful difference to those who wish to play the ostensibly single-player game without an internet connection, whatever the cause. As we’ve said before, the online features sound like they’ll superbly enhance your single-player experience, but enforcing them is cruel and stupid, and renders the game broken for enormous numbers of players. We desperately hope to see EA backing down from this position before release. Just as we expect to see Blizzard come to their senses and not release a self-sabotaged version of Diablo 3. The reality is, unofficial versions of the games will appear very soon after release, offering useful features that the publishers’ versions of the games will not. That’s simply crazy. We’ve contacted EA to ask if we can talk to them about this all.

Be Thrilled By Diablo 3’s Skillls

He thrilled!

I must confess that I’m immune to whatever charms Blizzard’s games possess. If I am a waterdrop then Blizzard are a water lily pad, scattering me across their surface – I just want to be absorbed by the gaming nymphaeaceae, but I can’t. But while my fingers don’t quite click with their games, my eyes do. So I got excited when they decided now was the time to release a load of skills videos for Diablo 3. The 20 skills on show are mostly new, so if you have the beta you won’t have encountered most of them. They’re unencumbered by the alteration runes, so this is raw rarr! I love the dancing voodoo doll that distracts enemies enough for the players to mash their face, and if I played it I’d use that all the time.
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You Will Die, Warn Diablo 3 Creators

In a somewhat fatalistic move, Blizzard has announced that you – you personally – will die. At some point, by accident or dreadful confluence of events, your body will cease to function, collapse, or possibly be run over by a train in a moment best described by taking a tube of toothpaste and squeezing it with the cap still on. Your friends and family will, hopefully, mourn you, as the carcass that was your vehicle through this cynical world is lowered into the ground, burned to ashes, or eaten by Welsh cannibals. Truly, we should take a moment to-

Oh, wait, they’re talking about Diablo 3’s difficulty modes.

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Blizzard Announces New Diablo 3 Slipping Date

Looking forward to hacking your way through the armies of Hell? Blizzivision (a subsidiary of Activard) has finally announced Diablo 3’s final, definitely final, absolutely no-kidding final release date… ish. It’s due to land in Q2 this year, unless they decide to rewrite the entire thing and turn it into one of those point and click adventures that are currently taking the world by storm.
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How Diablo III’s DRM Will Affect You

Oh what a treat for everyone.

Diablo III‘s ‘always-on’ DRM is obviously a matter of much controversy, albeit a more nuanced one than that of Ubisoft. Where Ubisoft implemented the grotesque system purely as a claimed measure to fight piracy, Blizzard’s logic at least has some elements that offer benefits to the player., online ranking, drop-in-drop-out co-op, the auction house, and constant live monitoring of your progress, and monitoring to prevent cheating, can all be argued to be in the players’ favour, in a way that Settlers VII crashing its single player because the internet blipped does not. But it doesn’t make the problem go away, and I want to strongly argue that Blizzard reconsider their decision, in the face of its simply breaking their game. Because no matter how perfect your connection, it will affect you.

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