Posts Tagged ‘Duke Nukem Forever’

The Slow, Strange Death Of The Demo

Floppies are cool, and you know it

I miss demos. I miss them so much. I wouldn’t be here, writing these words, if it weren’t for demos: how else could a sport-fearing, skinny young misery with only the slightest pittance for pocketmoney have found his way into playing video games? Once, my bedroom was littered with floppy discs, each and every one of which had at some point led to me standing outside a game shop, counting pennies with a quivering hand, praying I had enough.

Granted, magazines were the gateway drug back then, when there was no way to watch a trailer or scour Facebook for new screenshots, but later in life the web too seemed an infinite fount of sampled digital delights, and led to any number of purchases of those games that seemed the most absorbing – or simply because the demo ended, apparently expertly, at a point which left me urgently hungry for more. Those days are gone.
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The Impossible Day: Duke Forever Is Gold

Development on a new videogame has been completed.

Yes, you’re asleep. Yes, this is a dream. There can’t be any other explanation for this: the game that shouldn’t be, couldn’t be, is. After over a decade in development, multiple project reboots, all the crazy promises in the world, the closure of its original developer, a shock resurrection at the hands of the Borderlands/Brothers In Arms devs and another, final delay for luck, Duke Nukem Forever is finished. Yes indeed, Gearbox Software have announced that the infamous shooter has gone gold today. It’s actually gone gold. It’s coming to a PC near you next month.

Or at least it would be, were this not a dream. (It’s not a dream). (Or is it?) (It isn’t). (Or is it?)

Hail: Ten New Duke Nukem Forever Screens

I've a sneaking suspicion the game's going to feature big things.

Ten new screenshots have just appeared for Duke Nukem Forever. (As someone who’s been doing this job for twelve years, I’m still unable to shake the feeling of absurdity that comes with believing that the game is genuinely coming out this year. Just typing those words feels like folly.) You’ll probably want to look at them. Will they be insanely sexist? Maybe they’ll feature animals being tortured? Well, almost disappointingly, no. But one of them has the word “cock”? You can see them all below, and if you’d only bloody well click on them they’d get all big.

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No Surrender: Duke Nukem Is Baiting You

Yes, well done you

Ever get the feeling you’re being played? The latest crudity salvo from the Duke Nukem Forever marketing cannon is this ‘babes’ trailer. If anyone was expecting a chauvinism climb-down following the controversy around the optional bottom-slapping in the ‘capture the babe’ multiplayer mode, they’re certainly not getting it. The following video is just about safe for work, but it is entirely, consciously puerile.
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Duke’s “Capture The Babe” Slap Feature


The exciting North American variant of Official Xbox Magazine has revealed that Duke’s multiplayer will feature a “Capture The Babe” multiplayer mode, in which teams battle over women who are being carted off to be impregnated by the alien invaders. Ah, that sounds hi-liarious, doesn’t it, readers? But there’s to be controversy, thanks to the unbelievable admission that the babe might “freak out”, requiring you to “gently give her a reassuring slap.” OXM insist that this slap on the arse is “more goofy than offensive”.

So… yeah.

Duke Nukem Forever PAX Video Is A Bit Rude

Are ladies in the real world like this? We just don't know.

A bit rude, but not very rude, almost as if the trailer was carefully edited to imply rudeness while being shown at a trade show where there are minors around. The end result is something a bit like the daydream of a tiny boy who knows that boobs are awesome, but the specifcs elude him. Take a look and see what I mean.
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Real: DNF Balls Of Steel Edition Surfaces

Is there any subtext in the game box art, do you think?
UPDATE: Confirmed as real, though it’ll be available in America only and just here from Amazon.com.

The above image was posted on the French Duke Nukem Forever forums last night. I’m still running it through the RPS Bullshit-O-Tron, but figure even if it’s fake it’s an entertaining fake. And I keep thinking back to that IL-2 Sturmovik: Cliffs of Dover Collector’s Edition image that leaked and turned out to be real. HMM. I’ve run through what look to be the contents after the jump, or you can click on the picture for a slightly bigger one of it. Or both! Do both.
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DNF Release Date, Snakes Rise From Graves

Surrrrrrrrrrrrrre.
UPDATE: Launch trailer added below! Watch it. [Eh, watching Duke Nukem trailers, that’s a weird one, isn’t it? -Jim]

See, even though this is real, I still don’t believe it. Your partner can’t cheat on you, lie to you, never be there for you for so many years, and then just turn over a new leaf. Who cares what’s changed? I just refuse to accept that it will happen. I can’t allow myself to be hurt again. Eurogamer report the date for a Duke Nukem Forever release date, quoting a site I daren’t link to any longer (and more because it’s bloody well playing music at me when I open it, with no obvious off switch.) It’s going to be the 3rd May for the USA, and the 6th for the rest of the world. Yeah, right, whatever.
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Hail To The Guv’nor: Pitchford On Duke

Travelling games-Ronin Will Porter (who you may remember from his tribute to the recently-murdered PC Zone) has achieved what RPS could not: he has played Duke Nukem Forever. We would have done so too, if only we were any good at reading emails. SIGH. While he was at it, he also talked to newly-minted duke of Duke Randy Pitchford. Here’s what the Gearbox headbloke had to say about 3D Realms, urinals, Star Wars, whether the long, strange Duke story will ever be properly documented, and how to localise DNF into the Queen’s bally English, what?
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The Duke Nukem/Borderlands Cruelty Zoo

Noooo, etc

Or Loving, Gift-Laden Zoo, depending on whether or not you’ve already bought Gearbox’s pretty good RPG-shooter Borderlands yet. If you haven’t, you might be planning on buying its upcoming Game Of The Year edition. (I chortle whenever a re-release of a game call itself that. By whose authority, exactly? I might buy a new hat and start referring to myself as Gaming Blogger Of The Year). If you do, you will have the earliest possible access to the demo of Dukey-Nuke Nukem Not-Never-After-All, once it lands next year.

If you already own Borderlands and all its DLC… well, back of the queue, buddy.
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Slightly Better Duke Nukem Forever Footage


A recent presentation of Duke Nukem Forever to an audience in Amsterdam has been glimpsed by the electronic eye of the internet, and now cannot be forgotten. The clip is introduced and narrated by Gearbox’s Randy Pitchford, and it shows Duke looking in fine shape after his recent ill health. There’s some shooting! There are quips! In first-person! There’s also some footage of more esoteric features, such as emptying Duke’s bladder, drawing on a whiteboard and… is that a crudely drawn penis? It is. Watch the events as they unfolded, below.
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PAX10: Duke On Screen


Nothing escapes the omniscient eye of the internet, and so it wasn’t long before the hands-on Duke play at PAX was uploaded by winged technologists to our glowing rectangles. You can bear witness to some of the activities of the man in shades, below. It seems to be some kind of action game, focused on the use of firearms. The perspective, sensibly, is set from the view of the protagonist. There doesn’t seem to be any way to talk to the monsters, aside from perhaps making some caustic quips that are basically rhetorical.

So yes. Duke footage.
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Gearbox’s Duke Nukem Real, Due 2011

UPDATE: CONFIRMED! And due for release next year. Wowsers.

Initial picture proof (Thanks to these chaps.) And here’s more. And more. And more. Honestly: it’s real.

Video stream on the ongoing PAX announcement below, including attendees actually playing it with their actual hands. Pigs flew after all.

ORIGINAL:The hot word on the hot street is that 2K are unveiling something hot at that time, live from the showfloor of the Penny-Arcade Expo. Hotter still, it’s hotly-tipped to be Gearbox’s rumoured finishing-up of Duke Nukem Forever. Is it? Maybe/probably/everyone on the internet’s saying it is, so don’t blame us if it isn’t. Look, Randy’s even wearing a relevant t-shirt today, though maybe he’s just a massive prankster.

Find out for yourself by pointing those beautiful eyes of yours at the live-streaming videobox below at 6pm BST, 1pm EST, 10am PST and 7pm CET (It is DNF. Maybe. Probably. Everyone on the internet’s saying it is anyway, so don’t blame us if it isn’t).
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Dukes Might Fly

here to kick ass and be developed by someone else

3D Realms’ semi-erstwhile boss George Broussard mysteriously tweeted a picture of the above earlier. In other news, he once said Duke Nukem Forever would be complete “when pigs fly.” In other other news, strong rumour continues to mount that Gearbox have picked up of the broken bits of Duke Nukem Forever and may reveal that they’ve put them back together again at PAX. Lummee.

Winged porcine squadron, launch!

Gearbox To Finish Duke?


Intriguing rumours are circulating thanks to the big K: Gearbox are said to be finishing off Duke Nukem Forever. It’s even claimed that a playable demo of the game will appear later this year. Take 2, George Broussard, and Gearbox have all declined to comment, but Gearbox’s Randy Pitchford has offered some hope by saying that he might be able to reveal more about the situation at PAX in September. Interesting times.

Duke Nukem: Was Going Gold On April 1st

Actually, we could have totally done a Duke Nukem delayed story yesterday, about whatever early 2D one which was around. Or something. Man, we could have kept the 1993 theme going for weeks.

There was a whole lot of April Comedicosity yesterday, but Variety reported on one thing which – if it happened – could have re-justified the whole sorry festival’s sorry reputation. Ex-Take Two Producer Jason Bergman reported that, on their schedule, April 1st 2010 was the day they were planning to announce Duke Nukem Forever had gone gold – and later confirmed it wasn’t a joke. Putting aside the obvious question mark whether 3D Realms could actually hit a date, imaging how that would have played out, with the argument and counter-argument of whether it was 4 Realzzzz does put a smile on my face. A shame.

Random Duke Nukem Footage


Some Duke Nukem Forever footage has surfaced (and been posted below), via the all-seeing eye of the Big K. It’s got a fairly random soundtrack, although not entirely inappropriate, given the subject matter. There’s also some tumbleweed, which seems some somehow symbolic. It’s not clear what stage of development this was from, but I think we can assume it wasn’t the most recent build.
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