Posts Tagged ‘ed balls’

Premature Evaluation: CrossCode

The game's tutorial largely takes place on a cargo ship, the Solar, captained by a jetpack wearing tar, who is full of slightly mangled but suitably salty language. This enjoyable seadog stereotype is a rather indelible one, and I suspect it persists in the cultural imagination because, for most of human history, the sea was a thing that would surely fucking kill you, and anybody who made a living dicking about on it had to be either fearlessly stupid or stupidly fearless.

Each week Marsh Davies jacks into the virtual battleground that is Early Access so that his spandex-clad avatar may wrestle with the digital monstrosities therein. This week he’s uploaded himself into CrossCode, a top down 16-bit-styled singleplayer ARPG set within a distant future MMO, where the boundaries between the real and virtual worlds have blurred.

It is a strange vision of the future in which the world’s number one entertainment involves me slapping a hedgehog to death with my balls. These balls are sadly just glowing projectiles, of course, aimed in 360 degrees and fired continuously if desired, ricocheting off walls to hit enemies and switches out of the line-of-sight – but the game does insist on referring to them as “your balls” in a way which is either deadpan mischief or minor mistranslation from the developers’ native German. It is but one of many mysteries in the intriguing world of CrossCode – and a rather natty combat system to boot.

Read the rest of this entry »