The founder of Valve, Gabe Newell, will write the script for a Half-Life movie adaptation, as well as being named the director, it was revealed today. However, he is also slotted to act the part of the hero of the classic 1998 shooter, physicist Gordon Freeman. This was all said in a public announcement that sent fans of the series into a frenzy. It was expected that the company was going to announce Half-Life 3, and when that didn’t happen the eyes of the crowd turned an unholy crimson and smoke began to appear from inside everyone’s clothes. The writhing mass of human rage left the announcement venue and swarmed into the nearest lake, where they dissolved into a thick particulate and melded into a horrifying 300 ft beast that went on to destroy downtown Bellevue.
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