Posts Tagged ‘Far Cry 5’

Steam Charts: Oh What’s The Point Edition

Why God, whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Join us for our weekly skip through the bountiful fields of fresh gaming joy! Hold our hand as we guide you down the top ten selling games on Steam, to discover which heart-lifting original content has caught the attention of the enthused gaming public! Someone please help me! Read the rest of this entry »

Far Cry 5 has the worst endings in all of gaming history

Far Cry 5 has a bad story in the same way that the bubonic plague has a bad bacterium. It is, by a considerable stretch, the most abysmally written narrative in AAA gaming. Not just in how it so idiotically interrupts you in the middle of other scripted missions to force you to play through hideously badly written enforced semi-playable cutscenes, but in every word uttered by every character from start to finish. And wow, does it reach its subterranean nadir when it comes to the finish. It is time to drape yourself in spoiler warnings and embrace the volcano of awful that is Far Cry 5’s ending. Read the rest of this entry »

Steam Charts: We Can Rebuild Edition

As the Steam Charts slowly attempt to reassemble themselves after last week’s complete collapse under the weight of Far Cry 5, think of this week’s compilation as the moment the thought-destroyed terrifying monster is halfway through its grotesque reforming. Witness as its undulating viscera twists through recongealing flesh, a bleak but ghoulish moan emanating from deep within its darkest soul. Read the rest of this entry »

Far Cry 5 blossoms into something wonderful once you kill the plot-baddies

far-cry-faith

The way I see it, there are only two significant failings in Far Cry 5. These are its story and the way it creates action in its open world. “But Alec,” asks the imagined reader who hangs on my every word and doesn’t just skip to the end in the hope I actually have something worthwhile to say, “doesn’t that mean basically the whole game?”

“Ho-ho,” I reply in this farcical imagined conversation in which I have already been infinitely more erudite than I am in any real conversation, “you have fallen for my clever introductory ruse designed to either make you nod in furious agreement or raise your fists heavenward in furious disagreement, and in either case you are now unable to resist the siren call to read on. And if, somehow, you are not, how about this: Far Cry 5 blossoms from infuriatingly stupid caterpillar into beautifully madcap butterfly once you have summarily murdered its terrible bosses.”
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Podcast: Good game, bad story

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“I love to shoot the men!” you shout, as you pump 100 bullets into the prostrate torso of a dead soldier in Far Cry 5. “I’m so glad there are no cutscenes to–

THWOCK.

“Oh no.”

And lo, the lord delivered unto ye a sermon of the highest tedium, and the Four Ubisoft Writers of the Apocalypse rode over the earth and reaped the souls of all humanity with pointless exposition and dull characterisation. It was a bad time. But it’s not the only strong game let down by a bad tale. The latest episode of the RPS podcast, the Electronic Wireless Show, is unable to discuss all the offenders, but we can take a punt.

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Far Cry 5’s interrupting story ruins everything

I have very much enjoyed the Far Cry series, most often despite itself. Far Cries 3, 4 and Primal (why is everyone forgetting poor old Primal?) have all occupied me for countless hours, provided enormous amounts of entertainment in their kleptomania-inducing maps, and always done so despite everything it thinks is so compelling about itself. Far Cry’s self-belief in its own abysmal stories is always so grossly apparent, like a strutting buffoon bursting into the bar and looking around, confused, when every man, woman and animal doesn’t immediately throw themselves at his feet. So then he starts loudly demanding people throw themselves at his feet. And when they don’t, runs around putting his feet as near to people as he can and declares to the room that this counts. Oh Far Cry.

Unfortunately, this time out things have gotten a lot worse. Far Cry 5 – to run with the previous analogy – barges up to you, grabs you by the collar, and throws you down onto the ground by its shoes, screaming “MY FEET! WORSHIP MY BLOODY FEET!” Which is to say, engaging with its godawful cutscenes has become less optional. Far Cry 5 has the most egregiously bad imposition of its story. Read the rest of this entry »

Steam Charts: The Great Collapse Edition

Right, well, I’ve had a month off writing this it seems, so it’s time to check that Brendan and Alice have been looking after the Steam Charts properly. Obviously it requires regular watering, and perhaps most importantly, weeding, to prevent things getting out of contr… ALICE AND BRENDAN! COME HERE IMMEDIATELY!

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Murderous pet friends are the real meaning of Far Cry 5

far-cry-5-pets

There are many reasons why Far Cry 5 has wormed its way into my cold heart far more than I’d ever expected, but foremost among them are its recruitable animal followers. Why have a crack-shot sniper or rocket-spewing airplane pilot watching your back, when you can have a tame bear and unnaturally loyal cougar by your side instead? Sure, there’s a cute dog, but screw that guy – Peaches the mountain lion and Cheesburger the grizzly are the best friends an anonymous law-enforcer on a one-person crusade to rid Montana of murderous cultists could have.

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Far Cry 5’s Arcade Mode is a map-making’n’sharing joy

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I made my first Far Cry 5 map in the game’s Arcade Mode this morning, in collaboration with my 4-year-old daughter. It took me about an hour, it stars 20 cougars, two enormous yetis, half a dozen windmills and a tasteful pink pillow. It even has a puzzle, of sorts, involving a rocket launcher and a very high ladder. It was remarkably easy to create – you should give it a go yourself (you don’t have to include quite so many cougars, though).

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Podcast: The GDC special (with bonus Far Cry 5 chat)

An artist's impression of the Game Developer's Conference 2018

♪♫ When you go to San Fraaaanciscooo, be sure to wear a lanyard with ‘Media’ inscribed on it round youuur nnnneck ♪♫ That’s what Adam, John and Brendan sang to each other as they gleefully skipped through the streets of California’s tram-infested hill city. The crew were in town for the yearly Game Developer’s Conference where they spoke to developers, played games, and gambled on the results of the annual awards show. Now they’re back and ready to tell you all about their Stateside adventures on the latest RPS podcast, the Electronic Wireless Show. Read the rest of this entry »

Wot I Think: Far Cry 5

Ah, a new Far Cry has appeared! Having torn up the Himalayas, Polynesia, Central Africa and The Past, in Far Cry 5 Ubisoft’s lidlessly searing eye for endless open-world violence has turned to the USA. Specifically, we’re in Montana, where Ubisoft have conjured a new set of colourfully monologuing nemeses who toy with you as they enact their Bad Plans while you try to ignore them so you can get on with the important business of hanging out with animal pals. Which particular brand of environment and Kurtz-like do we get this time? Let’s find out.

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Far Cry 5’s Montana is my favourite Far Cry setting yet

far-cry-5-montana

Whenever I talk to anyone I know about Far Cry 5, all I hear is frustration. Frustration at the embarrassing and cowardly storytelling (I agree). Frustration at the weirdly functional crafting, shopping and perk unlock systems (I agree). Frustration that there aren’t many mountains to basejump off (I agree). Frustration at how the near-constant arrival of roadside enemies, sometimes in all-seeing helicopters, is deleterious to playing it as a stealth game (I agree). Hell, I agree with every single criticism I’ve heard or read.

But I’m having a fantastic time. I don’t mean this in a straightforward “lol but the guns are fun” way – fundamentally, Far Cry’s setting and pace clicks with me in a way the even more outlandish 3 & 4 never did.

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Far Cry 5: The Island Of Fred Durst

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It’s only day two for Far Cry 5‘s Arcade Mode, a combination of map-maker and sharing tool which enables anyone to play anything made by anyone else from within the main game. As such, the pickings are currently slim – but even so, we already have an all-time winner.

Unless, for some reason, you don’t share the belief that a volcanic island populated exclusively by homicidal Limp Bizkit frontmen is the pinnacle of human creativity.
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Far Cry 5 review in progress

Having been supplied code for Far Cry 5 late, I haven’t yet had time to play enough to write the full Wot I Think, but since it’s out today, I thought I’d give you a whiff of its flavour so far. (tl;dr: It’s mostly pine needles and burning flesh.)

After 9 hours and 15 minutes of Far Cry 5, I’ve killed 912 enemies. That’s 1.6 kills a minute, including cutscenes and wandering plains, forests and mountains of Hope County, Montana. It even includes a spot of salmon fishing. There is a lot of killing in Far Cry 5, which is a game that does not like to leave you alone for a goddamned minute. Read the rest of this entry »

Wipe those tears away: Far Cry 5 released

After years of gallivanting around the world, Far Cry today settles down for a quiet life in small-town America. Far Cry 5 launched in the wee hours, the latest in Ubisoft’s open-world sandbox shooter. This time, the mince plot is about saving Hope County in Montana from a naughty cult by wandering, driving, flying, swinging, and wingsuiting around while shooting faces and catching fish. We have a review coming in a bit but, for now, here’s word that it’s out and the launch trailer. Read the rest of this entry »

Steam Charts: Open Your World

John is missing. He flew out to GDC last week stowed inside Brendan’s suitcase to save money, I’m sure you’ll remember, but on the return journey Brendan’s bag has gone missing. Vanished. Didn’t flop onto the luggage carousel. The airport have no idea. John took a few cans of pop and bags of gross American chocolate in with him so I’m sure he’ll be fine, but where is he? Amsterdam? Boise? Hong Kong? Honolulu? I’m sure he’ll turn up. For now, here I am, I am taking over the Steam Charts for another week.

If there’s one lesson to learn from last week’s 10 top-selling games on Steam, it’s that fancy open-world games are quite popular.

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Five in-game cults that are a far cry from Far Cry 5

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Cults in games have a long, proud tradition of getting to go full wackadoo. Mostly, they’re a really nice device to lean on, especially in a game where you want to fill the world with collectibles and audio logs and you need some narrative to build that space. Also, they’re pretty easy in that, if you don’t give a flip about collectibles, you can generally parse that cults are evil and cultists deserve to die. I may have learned a few things about that the hard way this year. That said, Far Cry 5 releases this week and focuses on a cult in America that uses religion and being pretty crap people in general to take over an entire state. In preparation, we look back at some of the wackier cults to be featured in games’ proud lineage of brainwashing.

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Steam Charts: When Rats & Martians Attack!

John is elsewhere this week, squeezed into Brendan’s luggage for a flight to San Francisco and the Game Developers Conference, so I’m here for the regular rundown of last week’s top-selling games on Steam. This week, the letters R, A, and S are well-represented with strong showings from both Mars and rats.

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Far Cry 5’s map editor includes bits from Assassin’s Creed and Watch Dogs

The Far Cry 5 map editor will include bits and pieces from other Ubisoft games, Ubi announced today, which should let players create places far beyond rural America – and the modern day. A number of assets from Watch Dogs, Far Cry 4, the prehistoric Far Cry Primal, Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag (the pirate one), and Assassin’s Creed Unity (the French one) will be thrown in. I’m so up for building a Virtuaparis monster truck obstacle course. It sounds like Ubisoft are planning to make a real go of player-made maps, building around them something they call the Far Cry Arcade. Read the rest of this entry »

Get Far Cry 5 for free when you buy a new AMD PC

Out of my way! Coming through! In March!

Cult-busting simulator Far Cry 5 is coming out at the end of March with a whole bunch of special AMD features, and to celebrate AMD is giving the game away for free for anyone who buys a select pre-built PC system with AMD graphics in it between now (February 27th) and May 20th 2018.

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