Posts Tagged ‘foot-to-ball’

FIFA 12 Foot-To-Ball Demo Impressions

Yeah! Foot-to-ball! It's our favourite!

In one minute I’ll be announcing the announcement that the new demo of FIFA 12 will be being announced in a few minutes. That’s a new demo for FIFA 12 that I will tell you has been released just as soon as I’ve announced that I’m announcing its imminent announcement. There’s a FIFA 12 demo out! Wait, damn, that was too soon.

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Foot-to-Ball Manager 2012th Edition

Would you rather have seen the numbers? I don't know what the etiquette is for sports management games

You foot-to-ball chaps sure don’t get bored easily. I’d get fed up of any game after 2012 years – why, I’d even be willing to bet my ardour for X-COM would have cooled by just the 819th sequel. There’s no stopping plucky Brit studio Sports Interactive though: they’ve just announced Foot-to-Ball Manager 2012, which as is the custom contains a raft of new features, improved graphicsability, a whole lot more foot, and much more ball.

In the years to come, 50% of men will only buy one game each year – whatever the new Call of Duty is. The other 50% will only buy Football Manager. By 2018, the two will combine into Weapon Unlock Manager, and no other game will ever be required.
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Impressions: New Star Soccer 5

Rioters! I'd know their type anywhere

A curious new leisure hobby for the younger man has lately taken the continent and the colonies by storm, and your intrepid gentlemen reporters at the Rock, the Paper and Shotgun feel duty-bound to investigate this ‘sport’ the filthy foreigns have dubbed ‘foot-to-ball’.

We couldn’t possibly sully our fine, firm, perfect bodies on the pitch and at the risk of a physical encounter with one of the careening yahoos who profess to be experts at this activity, you understand, but fortunately we’ve been able to simulate the experience via unsettlingly but admittedly highly effective digital magicks. New Star Soccer 5 recreates every element of foot-to-ball, from the foot to the ball and everything in between, within the comfort, safety and seasonal warmth of one’s own manor.
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Foot That Ball! New Star Soccer 5 Trailer

Don't foot this one. It's on a screen.

As Britain’s leading expert on foot-to-ball, I find the irreverence of games like New Star Soccer 5 to be deeply offensive toward “the lovely game”. How can someone watch something as astounding, as gorgeous, as sexually profound, as last week’s round of foot-to-balling between the United Rovers and West Byfleet Consolidated not be moved to tears? New Star Games’ new trailer for their latest simulation contains slight hints of not taking this most important of matters nearly seriously enough.

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FIFA Manager 11: Foot-To-Ball-To-Demo

This is both the scariest and the most confusing thing I've seen all day.

FIFA Manager 11 really should be a game about managing FIFA. [At this point please insert some jokes about how ineptly FIFA may well be run, and how one would manage it better, because I haven’t the faintest clue. Maybe something about refusing cameras that can see if goals are scored? Is that FIFA? Or is that UEFA? Or is that a town in Mexico?] There’s a demo of this latest incarnation of the not-as-good-as-Football-Manager series, in which you can (not) find out. It gives you six months of play (game time, dummy) but allows you to carry over a save file into the full game should you be too bereft to start the whole insane process over again. In conclusion, baseball.

Daily Rag: Gamers Addicted To Foot-to-ball

Another victim of foot-to-ball falls victim.

Games psychotherapist, Stephen Bishop, has told the Daily Rag that games players are showing an increasingly worrying addiction to football. Players of Modern Warfare 2, Grand Theft Auto IV, and Peggle are apparently spending up to one and a half hours playing the sport without food, rest, or any form of videogaming.

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Daily Star: Foot-to-ballers Addicted To Games

Could these men be in TERRIBLE trouble?

Rock, Paper, Shotgun’s favourite rent-a-quote anti-gamer Steve Pope has reappeared in the news, this time to announce that professional football players are dangerously addicted to videogames. The “sports psychotherapist”, so far unwilling to provide any evidence for his previous claims, informs the Daily Star (famously accurate on gaming related matters) that players from Manchester United, Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal are all in trouble.

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