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Posts tagged “free loaders”

Feature: The best free games of the week

Free Loaders: Through a VHS player, darkly

Watch this everyone, he’s going to scroll right past us. Oh sh-- He’s looking right at us. Quick, arrange yourselves into some kind of sensible formation. We’re going to have to let him play some of you. I know, I know, but don’t panic, we can do this. We’ve done it before. Remember a few months ago when that girl stopped to look at the…

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Feature: The week's best free games

Free Loaders: Aristocratic pong in Fancy-Ass Tennis

Tally ho, old cob. I suppose you’re popping in for a pinch of the free games what what. There’s a jolly briar of the stuff down there, I’ll say that to your bright ear, old dagger. Tennis is the main event, no surprise there. But the help has been spouting all this other waffle too and I dare say there’s something to be said about…

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Feature: The week's best free games

Free Loaders: What a plane in the neck

It’s the Saturday after thanksgiving. The turkey bits in the fridge have started to disappear, the empty bottles of hooch languish by the sink, and the corpse of uncle Kenneth still lies where it was first discovered, on the floor behind the sofa. But that’s just in the United States. Meanwhile, the rest of us have been feverishly playing these free games and giving thanks…

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Feature: The weeks best free games!

Free Loaders: You are terrible at skateboarding

Three villages have been destroyed after a pack of free games escaped from a local “game jam” this week. The rabid games have been spotted roaming the British countryside, leaving a wake of terror and confusion everywhere they go. Some are thought to have originated from ProcJam. If you spot any of the following free games, do not engage. Back away slowly, locate an escape…

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Feature: The week's best free games!

Free Loaders: An Election Day Game About Bad Polls

Happy democracy day, United States of America! I’m sure you’re all sick of voting by now but the rest of the world just can’t wait to see if the new leader you choose destroys the world or only slightly harms it. Don’t worry, at Free Loaders we still believe in wonderful democracy. We’ve got games for all sorts of people here. Games for skeletons, games…

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Feature: The week's best free games!

Free Loaders: I Want To Ride On My Bicycle

I’d like to ride on my biiiike! Oh, hello, you caught me singing Queen’s greatest hit, “Bicycle Riding”. You should check it out, it is the sound of this Halloween. I’m singing it because this game I found puts you on a bike and pits you against ferocious cyclists who can only be defeated if you kick them into the road barrier. It’s not cheating.…

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Feature: The best free games this week!

Free Loaders: This News Will Make You Sad And Afraid

Tuesdays are for making a cup of tea, compiling a short list of the best free games of the past week, and then stealing the introductory style of Sunday Papers. That’s right, who’s going to stop me? Not you, that’s for sure. You’re just a digital waif floating on the cyber winds. You’ll take what you’re given. So here’s some short games that will entertain,…

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Feature: The best free games of the week!

Free Loaders: ░░░░░ Videogames ░░░ Are Everything

The ephemeral collective of videogame burpers who hang out on the internet have decided to host a jam inspired by the myriad game ideas coughed up by Pippin Barr, aka ░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░ That Man ░░ From Twitter ░░░░░░░░ ░Who Does This ░░░░░░░░░ Considering most of Barr’s ideas take hold within milliseconds and are gone just as quickly, it’s no surprise that the resultant games are…

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Feature: The week's best free games!

Free Loaders: Launching Devil Daggers Into Space

There was a GameBoy jam this week and everything has gone slightly green. Sprites have taken over the free games mines and are playing non-stop chiptune down there. I can barely show my face in all my regular cyberspots because I’m just not pixellated enough. It was difficult to get you a haul of free games this week, is what I’m saying. So you’d better…

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Feature: The week's best free games

Free Loaders: Escape The Invaded City Of Santa Luz

Free Loaders on a Tuesday? That’s right. We don’t follow your rigid social structure here at RPS, man. We’re rule-breakers, rebels, mavericks. We follow the beat of our own cholesterol-clogged hearts. If we want to give you a list of the best free games of the past week on a Tuesday instead of a Saturday, then gorb dormit that's what we'll do. You're not the…

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Feature: This week's best free games!

Free Loaders: Fighting Your Way Through A Prison Brawl

All right boys, its lights out. I know you’ve all had another tough day behind bars but thems the breaks when you’re a convicted felon. Back to the cells, come on. Hey Johnny what are doing with that huge explosive propane tank? No, stop. Stop what you’re doing Johnny. Please stop.

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Feature: The week's best free games!

Free Loaders: Super Blood Hockey Is Pucking Violent

As we all know, ice hockey was discovered accidentally in 1923 when Theodore Hockey attached two knives to his boots in an effort to make ice farming more efficient. He discovered that competing farmers would often attack each other and the sport of ice hockey was born. Almost a century later, we are thrilled to see that the sport has come a long way. And…

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Feature: The best free games of the week

Free Loaders: Breaking Out Of Your Box

Shhh! I’m trying to pretend to be a cardboard box. There are people around here who want me dead. Yes, they’re pretending to be cardboard boxes too. Look, I don’t have time to explain, just stand over there and don’t look at me. And If you see any of these other boxes move, point at them so I can shoot them dead. I won’t rest…

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Feature: The best free games of the week!

Free Loaders: Cheat On Your High School Exams (Again)

Remember the high school examination hall? The sweat, the terror, the little crib notes you wrote on the inside of your shirt pocket. Don’t lie to me, I know you did it. There’s no way you passed physics without scribbling 'F=MA' on the sole of your left boot. All right, all right, let’s say you didn’t cheat.... Would you like to?

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Feature: The best free games of the week!

Free Loaders: Learn To Dance Like A Child On Sugar

Okay, look. I know you’re all off playing No Man’s Sky (hell, I’m playing No Man’s Sky right now) but if you could just find it in your stupid heart to look at this, you'll be a happier person for it. You'll drink, you'll wear some excellent clothes, and you'll dance (oh how you'll dance!) Have you ever danced so hard your body started flailing…

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Feature: This week's best free games!

Free Loaders: Help There’s Frogs In My Computer

I didn’t mean for it to get this bad. They’re just harmless frogs, right? How was I supposed to know they would take over my life like this. I’m warning you, reader. Stay away from the frogs. Do not let them take you. Do not lose your freedom, like I did. Do not become a servant to their digital whims. No, don’t click to find…

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Feature: The week's best free games!

Free Loaders: Make A Spaceship Out Of Pirate Pieces

I was planning to focus this week's round-up of free games on a watercolour-based walking simulator with lots of flamingos, until I saw that Alice had already coochy-cooed over it. And now I have to write about another spaceship game. A bloody spaceship game in which you have to salvage the pieces of your enemy and click them onto your blocky, Frankenstein vessel and then…

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Feature: The best free games of the week!

Free Loaders: Dice With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight

Even in the deadly heat of summer, the free games revolution marches on. Stopping for no-one, catering for everyone. Want to be a cowboy playing dice with death? Got you covered. Want to seize the means of production from your capitalist overlords? There's a game here for you. Want to summon some drizzle over Brighton? Well, just follow me. Yes sir, yes ma'am. Free games…

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