Posts Tagged ‘Grand Theft Auto Online’

GTA Online Stripping Cheaters Of Funny Money

It is a shame that Rockstar’s focus since launching Grand Theft Auto V has been GTA Online [official site] rather than any sort of singleplayer expansion, especially given that the sandbox multiplayer mode has been rife with cheating. Well, at least Rockstar have started cracking down in a new way. They’re starting removing “illegitimately gained” imaginary money from players’ accounts, draining the bank accounts of naughty people. They’ll also be wiping the progress of folks who get suspended. Read the rest of this entry »

The Other 1%: Grand Theft Auto Online Biker Update Live

Start honking your hog and pumping your guts: bikers have arrived in Grand Theft Auto Online [official site]. Multiplayer crimepoeple can now form and join motorcycle clubs – and not the polite kind who get together over tea and biscuits to write their self-printed newsletter. No, these are rude, noisy motorcycle clubs, doing all those crimes you see on television. Along with new bike-y activities, the Bikers update brings new bikes to ride and new clothes and cosmetic options to make yourself look rowdy.

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GTA Online Will Go Hog-Wild In Bikers Update

“It’s not really a place, it’s a feeling,” biker icon James Hurley once said of his dream destination. “Sometimes riding at night, I punch off the headlights and roll the throttle in just rocket blind into the dark.”

But some bikers are dirty boys. They cuss, smoke cigarettes, refuse to tuck their shirts, and don’t even kiss their mothers goodbye. These rough tough scruffs congeal into gangs, roaring down the highway honking their hogs and yelling e.g. “Hey you, go on, get out of it!” Don’t you find that secretly thrilling? If so, watch for the next major Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] update, which will focus on bikers and bike gangs.

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Grand Theft Auto Online Going A Bit TrackMania

I’ve been hoping Rockstar will add more singleplayer stuff to Grand Theft Auto V [official site] rather than focusing on its multiplayer, but I can hardly be upset by them turning Los Santos into some sort of Hot Wheels-y, TrackMania-ish raceground. Grand Theft Auto Online’s Cunning Stunts update (ooh those scamps!) will bring aerial raceways with loops, pipes, and rings of fire, not to mention new vehicles to race round them. It’ll launch next week. For now, look at this wackiness:

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Get A Job Working For Another Player In GTA Online

I'm paid to simply hold a gun like this for eight hours a day.

Not everyone can be The Big Cheese, and every gangster movie in the world shows the terrible fate befalling anyone who tries. So give up. Accept that you’re just another brick in the wall, another cog in the machine, another putz put on this beautiful green Earth to make a richer person’s life easier. Relax. It’s fine. Hey, I’m right there with you buddy. Let’s accept our fate. Let’s stop trying. Let’s embrace that futility. Let’s fill our entire lives with it. Let’s – you and me – get virtual jobs as bodyguards for richer players in Grand Theft Auto Online [official site].

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What Makes A Videogame House A Videogame Home?

Oh boy, am I conflicted. Fallout 4’s main plotline requires that I do this thing and as far as things go, it’s a pretty major thing and a major thing that you’d expect someone with the maternal instinct of my character Halle to crack on with straight away. The trouble is, rather than doing this major thing, for at least an hour now, she, and when I say ‘she’, I mean ‘I’, have been poking around Sanctuary, scrapping anything that glows yellow so I can salvage enough materials to build a house big enough for me and my Minutemen companions. I had largely avoided Bethesda’s drip-feed of Fallout 4 pre-publicity but when I somehow found out that the game had settlement building, I think I might have involuntarily passed a little wind in joyous anticipation.

That’s because I’ve felt a similar rosy inner glow while hanging around other hubs and houses in many other games I’ve played. I think it’s easy to underestimate the value of having a ‘home’ base option, especially in open world games where there is a free-roaming element, but it’s a part of why I love certain games.

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Grand Theft Auto Online Plays Thanksgiving Handegg

29! 42! 38! 87! 69! Hut! Hut! Hike! And that’s how the Pilgrims came in 1492 to the land we now know as the United States of A. One genocidal colonisation later, Thanksgiving in November is now a happy time for families to come together to eat pumpkins carved into the shape of turkeys, bicker, argue, threaten to call the police for real this year, and shout “29! 42! 38! 87! 69! Hut! Hut! Hike!” while shoving each other, just as the Pilgrims did all those years ago. This I have learned from watching American sitcoms.

This year, you can even hop into Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] to do pushing in a new American Foosbalt-inspired mode. Numbers not included.

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