We at RPS have but eight eyes between us, no matter what magical powers Kieron claims his rectum has. This means we miss a lot of stuff, and thus are very grateful to readers who tip us off to great stories.
Eventually, we’ll get really damned good at throwing them up as soon as they arrive, but for now, here’s a quick-fire summary of what’s slapped through our pretend letterbox recently. They’re sequenced at random by an idiot (that’s me), but there’s a rough hierarchy from Woo! to Meh to Huh?
The B sends glad tidings of Guitar Hero III – coming to PC. The game itself isn’t that exciting because a) we really want Rock Band now, to be honest and b) Frets on Fire got there first, and for free, but that there’ll be a custom USB guitar controller means mega-W00tings. I’ll be first in the queue to buy one, and will establish whether or not it’s possible to play Peggle on it. Due by the end of the year, reportedly. Dunno the GH3 tracklisting as yet, but I will forcibly cuddle as many Activision product managers as it takes to get Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival on to it.
Apologies to Jon, who sent this ages ago – a fine tale of obsession, skullduggery and paranoia in Eve. Our own Jim is one of the world’s premier Eve chroniclers, so expect more revelations of politiking in space here soon.
Joachim sends Beer Tycoon. ‘Beer’ is, of course, the only noun in the dictionary apart from ‘Unicorn’ not to have had ‘Tycoon’ suffixed to it, so you can take my withering ohgodnotagain, whoevermakesthismustcrythemselvestosleep criticisms as read, frankly. Reading the game description however, it’s quite remarkable how entirely straightlaced it is. Booze=funny, right? But no gags about spousal abuse, irreversible liver damage or drinking to excess in order to avoid the miseries of reality here – just something about buying yeast and stuff.
Finally, Mike sends this couple of minutes of distressing misogyny. Ah, the ever-depleted comedy goldmine that is claiming women aren’t very good at driving.
In a final piece of excellent news, RPS is currently the fifth Google result for ‘japanese face slap’. I pray mentioning it here gets us closer to the coveted number one spot.