Posts Tagged ‘Hamlet melodrama’

The Five Stages Of FPS Multiplayer

I wouldn't lie to you. Not scribbled on a press image, anyway.

Over the holidays I started playing Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare multiplayer. After initially mistaking it for a “shooting people in the back” simulator wherein I had accidentally signed up to play the exciting role of “sole target” I started to pick into it a bit further, upping my KD ratio and experimenting with a bunch of the loadout perks and options. I think an 8 kill streak is my current most impressive achievement and I’m kind of in love with my Steel Bite variation on the ARX-160. It makes me feel like a weaponised Pat Butcher.

But another thing I started to pick into at the same time was my own behaviour when starting any new multiplayer FPS game – hi Titanfall, Counter-Strike, CoD… I get exceedingly grumpy for about the first 10 hours. It’s for this reason I prefer to grapple with multiplayer in a quiet room where people who think I’m a reasonable member of society can’t hear me wailing about the unfairness of it all, swearing about IMPOSSIBLE odds and declaring that I never liked videogames anyway and that I’m going to go and have a calming walk (all the while queuing for another round).

With that in mind, here are the five stages of an FPS multiplayer experience*:

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