No good ever comes from having a creaky old lady narrator. Take Helm’s Hold, a healing monastery in Cryptic’s upcoming Neverwinter MMO. Its original purpose is to wipe magical curses from the afflicted. A noble place. A safe place. Then the portentous, wobbly narrator starts to speak and you know she’s basically invoking trouble. Fiendish cultists have taken over, and now all the people are suffering with itchy magic skin. The recording studio was probably built on an ancient shark burial ground, and her script was likely scrawled on the back of the pattern of the Turin Shroud. Do everyone a favour: take a lozenge and check for bones sticking out the ground whenever you’re at a recording session. Neverwinter was such a nice place before you came along.