I am fairly sure HORSE MASTER has graced these pages before, in Porpentine’s most splendid column, but I am entirely certain that it warrants its own post. It is a primarily textual game about raising the ultimate competition horse, nurturing it to greatness from the very moment that it is freshly stuck from the egg sac of its queen’s papal dome.
In real life, equestrianising is probably harder than running since controlling one’s own flesh-stilts should be a lot easier than controlling a large animal clenched between the thighs. That said, CLOP, QWOP’s brand new four-legged variant, isn’t as tough as its jelly-limbed ancestor. Maybe that’s because no one is riding the unicorn that’s clopping its way across the countryside, maybe that’s because of the grace of the mythical beast. I haven’t made it over the hill and, sadly, CLOP doesn’t tell me how far I did get. About a third of the way, going off the yellow arrow at the bottom. Find your rhythm and run like the wind.
There’s a trailer out for Free Realms, showing off their ponies, both walking and flying. I’m posting it first, because it made me think of I’m On A Boat. And second, because it made me think of I Love Horses. And believe me, they’re below. But then I went to the game’s site to check stuff out, and it sort of needed me to be a NEW USER to continue, and then it had me create a character, and by that point sticking an email and password in didn’t seem a big deal, by which point it was downloading the game for me, because… because the squirrel kept telling me to.
