Posts Tagged ‘Ian Video Games’

Football Manager 2018 announced for November

Football Manager 2018 [official site] is a game which exists and will launch on November 10th, publishers Sega announced today. Football Manager Touch 2018 also exists and will also launch on November 10th. That is about all Sega say. What’s new with this year’s instalment? They won’t tell us until September. As Sega won’t offer details, we’ve turned to our trusted secret sources [it’s Ian Video Games wearing an assortment of fake moustaches and a Darth Vader Voice Changer Helmet -ed.]. Read the rest of this entry »

Steam Dev Days Goss: New Vive Controllers, Steam Link In TVs

Valve invited our mate Ian Video Games to their Steam Dev Days conference this week because “they recognise his genius potential”, or so he’d have you believe. Suspicious sorts have observed that the never-before-mentioned ‘twin brother’ housesitting to water Ian’s plants looks just like him, down to the same red wine stain on his jeans, with a stick-on moustache. Other say that the tweets and photos he’s ‘sending back’ from Seattle look suspiciously like tweets from actual developers who are actually there. No matter. Either way, Valve have been gabbing about prototype new Vive motion controllers, Steam Links included with Samsung televisions, and other Steamstuff. Read the rest of this entry »

Red Dead Redemption Remastered Rumoured For PC

I should warn you: Ian Video Games is wearing a cowboy hat. Worse: he’s saying things like “ah fair reckon”. Someone’s filled his head with dreams of Rockstar’s Red Dead Redemption [official site] and ah fair reckon it’s you, The Internet. As ever with our Ian, some of what he’s spouting is tripe. No, Ian, no one has found a poster revealing a new Red Dead sequel. However, when Ian says “I tell you whut, them Rockstar varmints are cookin’ up a PC remaster of Red Dead Redemption hoo-eee doggie!” then spits a brown mouthful of ‘chaw’ (it’s toffee), well, that hasn’t been immediately disproven at least.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rumour: The Witcher’s Gwent Becomes Own Game

You’ll never guess what Ian Video Games heard down at the trademark and patent office! Oh, yes, of course someone said “This is the daftest idea I’ve ever heard”, you’re right there. His patent does make a certain sort of sense if you think about it, though. Inevitably some Frankenstein will make a perpetual motion machine by strapping buttered toast to a cat and hurling it off a roof – but how will they safely attach the toast to the cat? Cushioned heat-resistant toast straps. Always thinking ahead, that Ian.

Anyway, no, the other thing he heard: someone filing a trademark for a standalone version of Gwent, the card game from The Witcher 3.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rumour: No Man’s Sky Delayed

BLAST OFF!

“Psst. Psst!” Oh lord, here is again, Ian Video Games come to disturb your quiet afternoon pint. He shoots you a wink and sidles up. “No Man’s Sky?” he asks, leaning in to tapping his nose conspiratorially. “NOT Man’s Sky more like! Wait… NO Man’s Sky more like! Wait. I mean… NONE Man’s Sky? LATER Man’s Sky! If you catch my drift.”

The latest juicy rumour whirling around is that No Man’s Sky [official site], the gorgeous procedural sandbox universe from Hello Games, has been delayed. It was due in June but now… sorry, Ian’s just jabbed himself in the eye doing all that nose-tapping. I’ll fetch the first aid kit then get back to you in a sec.

Read the rest of this entry »

Who Squealed? Hints Of Mafia 3

He is a funny one, that Ian Video Games. I tell you, he spends all his time on The Internet doing the strangest things. No, not like that you cheeky madam. Ian – you’ll love this – he’s working on a sort of a phone book for the Internet, so people can look up any website. He spends all day searching for new sites, and notes every single name he finds in his notebooks. He’s filled hundreds of them! Says he’s taking the idea to Dragon’s Den.

And you’ll never guess what – Ian says in his research (his “research”, lawd!) he came across signs that we might hear about a new Mafia game from 2K soon.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rumour: Hideo Kojima Leaving Konami After MGS 5

Sometimes I’d swear that Ian Video Games is deliberately trying to ruin everyone’s fun. Just as we’re getting used to Metal Gear games settling on PC (not just Solid – we mustn’t forget Platinum’s Rising), Big Mouth strikes again and starts spreading rumours of strife.

Hideo Kojima, Metal Gear creator and director, and other senior members of Metal Gear Solid devs Kojima Productions are at odds with owners and publishers Konami, Ian says, and will leave once MGS V: The Phantom Pain is done. So Ian says, anyway. Konami say all’s hunky-dory.

Read the rest of this entry »

Business: Former EA CEO Riccitiello Now Unity CEO

He's very insistent that he wear this mask as 'the new face of the company.'

Thursday is, as ever, Business Thursday here at Rock, Paper, Shotgun. We’re wearing ties, playing Footsie, and folding that pretty pink newspaper into paper planes. It’s 12 o’clock, which means it’s now time for the RPS #business#noonblast brought to you by Millson’s Tie Clip Polish. Millson’s! Don’t let tarnish tarnish your reputation.

Business is afoot at engine makers Unity. Co-founder David Helgason has stepped down as CEO, and up has jumped former Electronic Arts CEO John Riccitiello. He’d already been on the Unity board for a year, and an insider tells me his appointment comes after nailing a sikk nollie 720 gazelle nerdflip. “What does this mean for Unity?” Helgason asks rhetorically. “Not too much …”

Read the rest of this entry »

Selling! No No No… Unity Deny Rumours

Settle down, gel.

Ooh he isn’t half an awful gossip, that Ian Video Games! Why, just the other day our Alec said Judith’s lad CNET — you know, shaved head, earring, works in the arches cafĂ© — told him Ian had been going around saying Google and some other local teams had been sniffing around, looking at signing up Unity. “Unity!” I tell Ian, “It’s you wot needs tea my boy, settle your nerves you jumpy Jeff.”

Course, Unity’s uncle has come out and made it real clear. “We have no plan to sell Unity,” says he. Too flipping right! She’s too good for them, that gel.

Read the rest of this entry »