Children are idiots. Left to their own devices, they’ll lick plug sockets, crawl into roads, chug Mr Muscle, charge into the ocean, and generally do themselves harm. Idiots! I know better than to do any of those. Unbelievable. They can’t even drive. But the newly-released Think of the Children will task us with protecting those fools from themselves, playing as parents who need to complete lists of tasks while rushing around protecting their child. Idiots. It does support singleplayer but the local multiplayer mode seems like it’d be most fun, cramming up to four terrible parents onto one sofa. Read the rest of this entry »

Around Christmas 2015, former Senior Scottish Correspondent Cara Ellison and I got smashed and played Who’s Your Daddy while everyone else was at the office party. It’s a competitive multiplayer game recreating the battle of wits between a dad and a baby set upon causing itself grievous harm, a struggle to keep the little idiot alive as it scoffs batteries and chugs bleach. A good time for all.

Right now, I’m looking at Think of the Children [official site]. It’s another parenting game, this one with cooperative multiplayer, about parents trying to keep kids safe everywhere from the beach to the zoo. An open-ish beta test launched yesterday so ooh I’ll have to check this out. Read the rest of this entry »