Readers! I have a joke for you. What’s green, has four shells, and lives in the sewer with a big rat thing? And also knows ninjutsu and orders pizza? The answer is… wait! This isn’t a joke book. It’s my diary from 1989. I thought all the punchlines were worryingly personal. How did a joke book know about my imaginary butler, Pierce Craigson? It turns out back then I was really into the Turtles, and imagined myself to be the fifth crime-fighting green thing. I was “Indiana Jones Turtle”, used a whip, and had some rather iffy ideas about April O’Neal. I was clearly an unimaginative idiot. Anyway, ten year-old me and thirty something (ahem) me both agree that the footage of the upcoming TMNT: Out Of The Shadows looks surprisingly good. Ooh, we can pretend we’re all going in to the sewers. Follow me down.
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