OK, let’s make this quick. I have to get back to the Greatest Rivalry of Our Time with Ars Technica’s Kyle Orland. He posted about One Tap Quest on Twitter, inviting mortal humans like myself to have a go at his high score. I beat it handily, and then he utterly trounced mine using some sort of ancient black sorcery. I will not rest until I’ve figured out how. Oh yeah, One Tap Quest is a game where you align a little medieval adventure man’s forward trajectory and watch as he hacks and slashes his way to either strength and glory or gruesome death by poorly drawn snake. It’s an entire fantasy RPG in a single click, basically, and I HATE IT. By which I mean it’s pretty neat and I can’t stop playing it please send help.