Pac-In-Time, like Mario is Missing!, was one of my favorite games when I was younger. It wasn’t a good game. Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 [official site] is, however, and you can see for yourself how good it actually is today.
Up is down, red is green, and I don’t know what to make of this world where Bandai Namco are again releasing Pac-Man games actually want to play. Well, mostly. But Pac-Man Championship Edition is ridiculous and wonderful and colourful, Pac-Man 256 has its fans, and ooh! looks like Patrick Mann may be returning with another Championship Edition. That’s if listings from South Korea’s game ratings board aren’t more ‘hilarious’ pranks from Ian Video Games. He has been mighty giggly lately, scampering away whenever you try to corner him, so you never know.
The glitched-out endless gobbling of Pac-Man 256 [official site] has arrived on PC, following a stretch of munching up fruits on pocket telephones. While it’s free-to-play on pockphones, here it’s £4 but does come with new four-player local co-op support. Why not eat some fruit with a friend? Pac-Man 256 isn’t your grandpa’s Patrick Mann, making him dash through a glitchifying maze inspired by Pac-Man’s kill screen.
After making Frogger’s car-dodging into one of the biggest games going with Crossy Road, developers Hipster Whale turned to jazzing up another vintage arcade game, Pac-Man. This time, it was official. Pac-Man 256 [official site] is an endlessly scrolling version of ye olde dotmunching, with Patrick Mann (that is his real name) chased by glitches from Pac-Man’s Map 256 kill screen (hence the name, yeah?). Following its debut on pocket telephones last year, Pac-Man 256 is now headed for a PC release in June. This version will have four-player local co-op too.
Look, I can understand why you might not have played Pac-Man Championship Edition DX+. That name, for starters. One imagines Namco Bandai scraping the bottom of the cash-in barrel, breaking through the bottom, digging down into the ground, grabbing a clawful of gravel and throwing that in one’s startled little face. Oh, but it’s so far from that. It’s barely even a Pac-Man game.
PMCEDX+ is a reflex-y arcade game a bit like Snake in a maze with ghosts and colours and great bleepy-bloopy noises. It’s pretty nice. And it’s free to play all week on Steam, so do have a look.
I’m sure FPS-Man isn’t the first game to attempt Namco’s venerable pellet-munching classic in first-person, but I’m still willing to wager that it’s still the first of its kind. In a ghost-dodging twist, this is Pac-Man re-imagined as some kind of bowel-clenchingly atmospheric horror game. And you know what? It kinda works. Honestly, there’s not a whole lot to it (yet), but what’s here is oppressively claustrophobic in all the best ways. An endless hallway of ghastly howls and neon whispers. I do, however, have some borderline sacrilegious news for you: no wakkas.
My comrades failed to observe my prompting about this bizarro-world gem earlier, so now I am out of my day job skin, I shall do it. Hmmph. Wasters.
So: there’s going to be a Pac-Man TV show, all CGI and 3D and whatever else is buzzwordy.
It’s not going to be a simple tale of a yellow orb eating pills and running away from ghosts, oh no. This is about human interest and social messages. Pac-Man. Human interest and social messages. Pac-Man. Y’okay.
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Pick a game to make into a movie, go on.
You picked Pac-Man, didn’t you?! I influenced your thoughts. Well, your dreams are coming true. As batshit crazy as it may seem, someone is not only going to make a Pac-Man movie, but also spend a considerable amount of money doing it.
MCV reports that Crystal Sky Pictures (they behind Bratz and Ghost Rider – both narrowly missing Oscars) are to be injected with $200m by Grovsenor Park, which will be used to make five movies. One of these will be Castlevania, another will be a sequel to Hard Boiled (which is what Stranglehold was supposed to be, so who knows what’s happening there), and another is, well, Pac-Man.
Well this is the best idea ever.
Someone has converted Pac-Man to a text adventure.
Which is the perfect way to end a harrowing day of no internets. Try to imagine it – from the moment I woke up to the evening, no connection to the outside world beyond a clockwork telephone. Frenzied attempts to set up yoghurt pots tied to string between my house and every other home and business in the world were quickly abandoned after too many peach melbas made my tummy hurt, leaving me to struggle on in a world without access to Wikipedia, Homestar Runner and Google Image Search. But I’m back, and to celebrate I’m playing a text version of Pac-Man – what a confusing mix of retroey goodness.