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Posts tagged “Privates”

Feature: Or 'why Windows 8 meant starting over from scratch'

Whatever Happened To The Swindle?

The Swindle was the much-anticipated next game from Time Gentlemen, Please and Privates dev Size Five Games. Then things went quiet. Very, very quiet. But why? Wha'happened? Will we ever get to play this cyberpunk crime caper? Here, Size Five's Dan Marshall reveals for the first time why the game went dark - a sad tale of Windows 8-based potential doom, leading to a Summer…

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BAFTA Publicly Praises Size Five’s Privates

If your only exposure to Size Five's size five Privates is through this esteemed periodical, you may believe that it is little more more than a flimsy excuse for us to make jokes about willies. Not true. Last night, at the British Academy Children's Awards, Privates won in the 'Learning - Secondary' category. This involved beating off competition from the likes of erstwhile Naked Chef…

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Zombie Cow Is Dead: It’s Size Five Games

In a rather peculiar move, Zombie Cow - the indie developers behind the brilliant Ben There, Dan That, and Time Gentlemen, Please - have changed their name. No longer are they post-bovine, and have now become Size Five Games. Why? I'm not sure even they know why. Something about "Zombie Cow" being embarrassing to say in business situations. Well, I recommend trying to be "Rock,…

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Feature:

Interview: Channel 4’s Alice Taylor & Jo Twist

As you'll see if scroll down a bit and your eyes still work, Channel 4 Education revealed ten new webgames from British studios this morning. We sent roving reporter Keza MacDonald to speak to the Commissioning Editors for Education, Alice Taylor and Jo Twist, over three cups of coffee and a ridiculous over-abundance of pastry treats. Wish to read comforting things about how lovely the…

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Privates: Satisfy longer!!Longer-lasting action!

I could come up with my own penis extension gags to celebrate the announcement of free DLC for Zombie Cow's splendid free shoot/giggle/educate game Privates, but they've done such a good job themselves that I really don't need to bother. Like so: Zombie Cow Studios and Channel 4 to offer PENIS ENLARGEMENT. =~~ DO YOUR MANHOOD NEED MORE? практические методы разработк Satisfy longer!!Longer-lasting action!text-decoration: underline;”>

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Privates Not As Public As Hoped

That Zombie Cow's naughty-but-nice sex-ed shooter Privates won't be making an appearance on Xbox 360 thanks to Microsoft deeming its sexual content too sexy (even though it's educational and even though there's no actual sex and even though they'll happily show any amount of extreme violence) isn't RPSy news. I know this. I accept this. However, it does reminds me, as I'm sure was the…

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Get Your Privates Patched

Zombie Cow have released a big old update to Privates. What I'm trying to say is, they looked at their Privates, and they realised they weren't good enough. The primary problems with their Privates were their being covered in bugs, often finishing long before the person playing with them was ready, and not being able to perform with many potential partners. What I'm doing here…

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Privates Out, Flapping About In The Breeze

Zombie Cow have finally unzipped their trousers, pulled them down to their ankles, then in a fit of pique ripped their underpants clean away from their waists to reveal their privates. And at the same time their game, Privates, is available to play, for free. Privates, you see, is a sort of pun. Puns are when a word can be confused for another word. So…

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Oh Look, A Massive… Privates Trailer

Wahey! But 'wahey' in a measured, 'this will hopefully be helpful for young person's sex education' sort of way. Zombie Cow's Cannon Fodder-meets-venereal disease-meets Ghostbusters condomania title finally gets in-game footage, and it looks like this. Well, like the 'this' that is below this. Um. Beneath the cut, then. Yes. There are some naughty words. There are some gags that may offend people who tend…

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Exclusive: Getting Intimate With Privates

Upon hearing the news of Zombie Cow's pee-pee and hoo-hah themed game, Privates, we clearly wanted to know more. What are these "vaginas" and "penises" they're talking about? So we got ourselves a chat with project lead Dan Marshall to find out the details on their STI-busting project. We exclusively reveal what the game's about, how it will play, and what disgusting items lie in…

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