Posts Tagged ‘Quinns’

Butchering Pathologic – Part 1: The Body

Yeah, probably not many jokes on these images.

Every Sunday, we reach deep into Rock, Paper, Shotgun’s 141-year history to pull out one of the best moments from the archive. This week, since the Kickstarter for the remake ends in two days, part one of Quinns celebration and dismantling of Pathologic. This post was originally published on April 10, 2008.

Okay.

…okay.

I’m going to explain, right now, why a Russian FPS/RPG called Pathologic is the single best and most important game that you’ve never played.

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So Long & Thanks For All The Words, Quinns

caption competition!

Indeed yes, the herald spoketh true: The Boy is today leaving the company of the RPS elders in search of adventures new (and which don’t involve daily posting about PC games), hence our advertising for New!New!New! last week. It’s a sad day for sure and obviously his decision to depart the dank but loving walls of Castle Shotgun is a ferociously silly one, but who are we to deny a young man his wanderlust? So, we wish him all the very best and hope to see him offering occasional revisits to his singular blend of oddball comic analogy, passionate argument for a little-known gaming cause and panicked, determined diarising of disaster on RPS again sometime.

Quinns has already listed his greatest hits – the Quits, if you rather appropriately will – but you can browse the complete Smithsonian archive here. Sniff.

Farewell for now, young Quintin. Let your travels take you to grand places of merriment and fascination, and no doubt we shall see your fine words grace these pixel-pages again soon.

Quinnswatch: Startopia Retrospective

I always remember Ste Curran talking about his favourite thing in Startopia was going up to the Biolab, pulling the camera back so you could just watch space and sitting and relaxing. Awesome game.

Do you miss Quinns? We miss Quinns. His gangly form is still making his way around the world with only a backpack and a delightful girlfriend to keep him safe. He may be gone, but is clearly not forgotten by Eurogamer, who’ve published a retrospective of Mucky Foot’s finest hour, Startopia. He says things like…

It was Babylon 5 run by the Muppets, which is about as flippant a comparison as the game itself.

Which certainly sounds like Quinns. Anyway, read more here and wish for Quinns to hurry on home. And while we’re talking Mucky Foot, I’m reminded of the article I wrote about their rise and fall a couple of years back. You can read that too.

Help RPS! Whorecraft: Graphics Quest

Today, RPS has a quest for you. A quest of great import but little time to perform it in. Do you live in Ireland? Do you own a decent graphics card you could spare to be without for a couple of days? Only you can save our gnomish rogue Quintin The Tight. He has great rewards for you…

[Update: Not anymore, he doesn’t! Our thanks to hero-reader Daniel Klein for fixing our hardware woes. Your prize is enroute.]

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Napoleon Dynamite: EG Napoleon Review

I love this screenshot.

Since we’re probably not doing a Wot I Think, I thought it worthwhile to point everyone in the direction of Boy Wonder Quinns’ Eurogamer review of Napoleon: Total War. Wherein he starts like this…

So, Napoleon finally gave me the battle I wanted from Empire.

And continues in an agreeably histrionic historical vein.

Battle Klaxon: Neptune’s Pride Before A Fall

I almost edited this screenshot to remove important data from it. That's bloody Neptune's Pride.

The RPS battle of Neptune’s Pride treads steadily on. We’re reaching that late-1917 in WW1 period of exhaustion, and we’re still trying to work out how we’re going to write it up. However, to get a taste for it, here’s Quinns writing about it for Game Set Watch. He sums up the game so…

Neptune’s Pride is a game of two things:

#1: Intergalactic War
#2: Being a jerk

He’s not entirely wrong. Read more here.

Quinns Reviews Solium Infernum

This chap looks a lot like Quinns.

Hell – now there’s a setting for a video game. Hell lets a game’s artists and writers run naked and wild and free, and in just-released indie strategy game Solium Infernum it also happens to tease out some hugely intelligent design ideas. I’m glad for that, because it balances out the damage done to my precious brain every time I see footage from Dante’s Inferno. Man, that game. You take not only a nonviolent epic poem but the single most nightmarish and psychedelic setting known to Western civilization and you use it to make… a God of War clone? Are you kidding?

By contrast, Solium Infernum is a turn-based, play-by-email creation, and it’s my second favourite game this year. Good year for demons, I guess.

As I said, it’ll be a while before an RPS Solium Infernum review, but Quinns reviewed it over at Game Set Watch. What that boy said. He’s not entirely stupid.

Wot I Think: The Void


[It seems to have gone through nearly as many name alterations as the Sugababes have line-up changes. It’s the sequel to RPS-championed Russian existentialist minor classic Pathologic, the game Walker described as Oblivion with cancer. It’s finally translated to English. It’s time to send the man who Butchered Pathologic to see Wot He Thinks of The Void…]
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The RPS Electronic Wireless Show 30

Down with TXT

Come the hour, come the men. Come the hour to podcast, come the three men (eventually). Quinns, Alec and Kieron gather in a (mostly) hungover state to discuss important things. You can download the file here, subscribe to it by RSS with this, or get it on iTunes from here. Hurrah! Also, you’ll find the full list of chat-topics below…
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Officially Unintelligent: AI War Versus RPS Part 1

When I blogged about AI War’s demo, an idea struck me. It’s eight players co-op mass-scale space-RTS against apparently only of the most vicious AIs yet seen in gaming. Could we get enough people together to have an eight player game? No, we couldn’t. Seven? No. Six? No. Five? No. Four? No. Two? No. One? No. But three? We totally managed a three-player game. So Quintin, Alec and myself gathered one afternoon to start a battle for the future of humanity against an unrelenting evil AI. Nothing would ever be the same again, except for all the things that were totally unchanged.
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Gaming Made Me: Friends Of RPS Panelosity

Don't worry. No Leisure Suit Larry.

Alec suggested we do Gaming Made Me – ooh – last Friday? Being RPS, we only got around to working out anything on Monday morning. It takes until Tuesday to realise how special it feels, and we should pursue it. Also, we realise that since there’s only four of us, it totally means we’re lacking a post for Friday. So we quickly drop a mail to a number of RPS contacts in hope that some of them could say something by Friday. And some of them totally did. In fact, some said so much we’re extending the run of articles until at least Monday. But here’s a punchier panel, where developers like Soren Jonson, Paul Barnett, Rod Humble and Erik Wolpaw and journalists like Tom “Tom Bramwell” Bramwell and Quinns talk about their formative games. And, of course, more if any devs care to write in and share, do so.

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Frontier Psychiatry: Wurm Online Interview


As anyone who picked up the last issue of PC Gamer UK might know – it’s the one with Starcraft 2 cover and the massively redesigned editorial – some friends and I have been playing a lot of Wurm Online. Since then I got in touch with developer Rolf Jansson, and you can read his answers to my questions below. But first I need to explain Wurm.

The best way to describe Wurm is as a high fantasy Eve Online, and it’s interesting for exactly the same reasons as Eve and a few more besides. While Eve starts you off in a space-faring milk float with a mining laser, in Wurm you begin as a hopeless peasant with… well, this:

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RPS Interviews Ice Pick Lodge


And now, in a feature I like to call Forbidden Discourse: The Oily Fruit of the Broken Heart, we present an interview with Ice-Pick Lodge CEO Nikolay Dybowskiy and all-purpose Ice Pick developer Aleksey “the LxR” Luchin. Ice-Pick are of course the Russian studio responsible for the award-winning Pathologic and The Void, two fascinating PC games.

I could give this chat an introduction about how the attitude that comes across in it gives me hope, but screw it. Instead I’ll just say that this interview proves just how much these guys are Doing It Right.
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Tron in 3D And Awesome: Armagetron

Light Bikes, eh?
I’m sick of talking to you guys about games that are either old, flawed, or old and flawed. If you hit the Quinns tag on RPS right now the site becomes some kind of miserable gaming emergency ward where I run around administering adrenaline to my dying loved ones before they disappear forever. Enough of that shit! Today I’m going to tell you about one of my favourite games that’s actually playable online, easy on your system, costs nothing and could easily end up starting a tiny fire in that dusty heart of yours. It’s called Armagetron and it’s about as perfect as freeware gets.

It’s pretty easy to explain, too. It’s the perfect evolution of a Tron Lightbikes sim. Course, that might mean nothing to you, in which case it all gets a little harder to explain. Here we go!
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Planetside: The 1%

Since I'm posting this, I probably should share my memories of Planetside in the tags
Planetside, then. Do I have any veterans in the audience? At ease, gentlemen.

It might not have dredged up the subscribers Sony were hoping for, and you personally might have found it a disappointment, a bully, a bastard, or most unforgivably, a bore. The developers were perhaps overambitious, and in any case they managed to screw up both on paper and in practice. But their game has achieved one beautiful thing, and that’s the creation of the same invisible veterans’ club that results from a real life war. If you played Planetside you might have already encountered this phenomenon- the mutual respect that instantly exists once you find out someone’s an ex-Planetside player. Since I can’t think of a name for this whole process, I’m going to dub it “I WAS THERE, MAN” syndrome.
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Tokyo PC: Pasokon Gemu!


One of our roving reporters, Quintin Smith, reports on the state of commercial PC gaming in Japan, with observations on a Gundam horse-touching subgame, a careful look at Hentai sales, and a wacky touchscreen card game that doesn’t have anything to do with PC gaming. Onwards, for Japan and some NSFW content.

Hi! So I’m in Tokyo for a few months right now, and recently Jim got to asking if I could write something about the state of commercial Japanese PC gaming. At least I think that’s what he asked.
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Alien Swarm: The Longest 30 Yards


[Since Quinns’ last piece on a mod he loved went so well, he’s done another one. Hurrah for Quinns! Also, Alien Swarm for UT2004. This article includes profanity and mild-bullying of PCG deputy editors]

Deep Space
The Sigma Campaign
Mission #3
23:49

For the first time in hours our squad was experiencing a period of speechlessness. We were all looking back and forth between the smoking barrel of Schach’s shotgun and the bloody smear where FiveEight used to be. The dismembered chunks of the alien that had been attacking FiveEight bounced away from us all into the shadows. Silence.
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3 – 2 – 1… Action Half-life.

Mickey Mouse! Donald Duck!

[Quinns, the Indiana Jones of videogames journalism, takes a break from wrestling apes and discovering hidden temples to deliver another one of his examinations of old Flames. This time it’s Half-life mod, Action-Half-life…]

Quinns: Anybody out there?

My eyes hovered over the chat ticker for a response. It was a stupid way for me to phrase the question. Of course someone was out there. That’s why the match hadn’t ended yet. I noticed I was bleeding, and pressed myself up behind a humming vending machine for cover while I applied a tourniquet.

Boff: Yes
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