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Feature: Look at sanity
Everything wrong with the first three minutes of Thimbleweed Park
My very first interaction in Thimbleweed Park [official site], and most likely anyone else's, was to "Look at Willie." I don't know who I'm playing yet, nor who Willie might be, but my German accented chap has appeared on a screen with two interactive items: a gate, and a slumped drunken man called Willie. So I looked at him, he being potentially more interesting than…
Feature: Hardware not fit for purpose
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Feature: Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings
David Cage has been speaking again. And that means he's been talking about how games need to grow up, that they're too focused on shooting and not enough on crying about leaves. "David, honey, would you like a cup of coffee?" "Why don't they make more games where a child dies?" "Yes David, that's right dear."
Feature: Redacted
I received review code for Dead Rising 2: Off the Record last week and was hoping to bring you hilarious tales of my attempts to photographically document a localised zombie apocalypse while wearing naught but spandex and a comedy hat. There would have been a bit with me riding a tricycle and shooting a water pistol at a horde of reanimated corpses and another bit…
Oh I don't understand videogames any more. I feel like such an old man, harking back to the days when the game would come out, and then eight months later there'd be an add-on. Now I'm not sure if I'm only getting a fraction of the intended game when I open the box, what with pre-order bonuses, special editions with extra quests, and most of…
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Correction: It seems that Ubisoft's new DRM will be requiring one activation at install, and then not again. While this is problematic regarding DLC, and I continue to argue (as the post below explains) still not okay, it's not quite as it was understood from the ambiguous statements given before the article was written. However, the "always on" DRM continues to torment users of Ubisoft…
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Do you care about 3D? As a broken-eyed freak-child, it only makes me feel lonely and left out of the new club for cool kids. Are all games going to start to demand I wear a pair of fetching specs that cause my astigmatism to drill a headache into the centre of my brain? Activision today announces that COD: Black Ops will support 3D play…
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I have a bunch of questions about gaming that tend to begin, "Why can't I..." Today I was wondering such a thought. Here's the thing about videogames: they're games. Let's just make sure we're all clear on this. They're games. Not work. Not obligations. But games. So just exactly why is it so many of them behave like some sort of strict teacher who will…
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Less a manifesto, and more a notverymanlyfesto, as this is very much a tech-centric list. If you want thoughtful game theory, you've got the wrong nitpicker. The PC is the best gaming platform in the world - but it could be better still. While it's great that the PC doesn't have to suffer quite the same degree of standardisation as its locked-down console brethren, we…
Today, a mini-rant, as befits my short stature and general foul temperament. Or, at least, an open question. Why do so many PC games not support alt-tabbing out?
"Every time I yank a jawbone from a skull and ram it into an eyesocket, I know I'm building a better future." So Bender from Futurama, in the guise of a biker vamp, informs me as to how he thinks the world's problems should be solved. Ah, Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines. Truly, you are the last of your kind. I no longer think you're…
