Posts Tagged ‘Red Alert 3’

Red Alert Free

Do you see what I did there? Because ‘free’ rhymes with ‘three’ and… I’m so sorry. It was either that or an ‘In Soviet Russia, retro RTS downloads you’ gag.

Yes, the original Command & Conquer: Red Alert is now available for no-pennies, to promote the upcoming RA3 and to celebrate today marking 13 years of C&C all-told. Which seems an odd birthday to make a fuss over, but hey, keep it up. Let’s have C&C3 for free next year, eh?
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Red Alert 3: “Make-up makes foes ill-at-ease”

Just in case you were in danger of thinking Red Alert 3 in any way was taking itself seriously, in the comments of RPS’ hardcore games critic analysis of the hardcore sex possibilities of the RA3 cast, RotBot wondered why Yuriko Omega wasn’t in the trailer. It’s probably lucky, as with Leigh’s peccadilloes she’d probably have exploded over the possibilities of a Japanese psychic-schoolgirl fighting the previously-discussed armoured parachuting bears. Actually, now I look again, I’m not sure that’s actually fighting.

Assorted you-tube scavenged videos and mocking of youtube commenters beneath the cut.
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Red Alert 3 Trailer Analysis: “War and Boobs”

There's so many images in this one, I'll be damned if I'm going to caption them all. Fill in your own, eh?

You may have noticed that with Red Alert 3 EA are pressing the button marked “Sex” as if it were a magical device which ejaculated streams of money. Which it may well be. Now that they’ve actually released details of the full cast, being a serious games site, I thought it of critical importance we analysed whether by spending such tall-dollars they’ve managed to succeed in titilating us. I called the undisputed Miss Sex of videogame journalism, Gamasutra and Sexyvideogameland‘s Leigh Alexander, and we went through the trailer together, deciding who was hot and who was not. You might be surprised by the results. You may not be surprised to discover I was drinking.
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“Well What’s Happenin’, C&C Community?”

we were ruder about the video in our super-secret RPS chat channel

I hesitate slightly to post about this, as the last time I talked about C&C: Red Alert’s music and offhandedly mentioned that it had never especially moved me personally, I received a furious email from an Angry Internet Man about how I had zero music taste and should show some respect for what its composer Frank Klepacki had done for gaming.

Going on the below video, I suspect street-talkin’ Klepacki himself would refer to it as respec’, however. Here he is, “throwing a shout out” to his fans, who will be very happy to hear that he’s officially on Red Alert 3 soundtrack duties. Me? Well… oh, look over there – that dog has a puffy tail!
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15 Minutes of Red Alert 3 Fame

Yep, a 15-minute long footage video of the upcoming C&C3-but-with-bears strategy sequel. 15 minutes! This is almost as ludicrous as those 90-minute long cutscenes in Metal Gear Solid 4. Actually, no, there’s nothing as ludicrous as that, and I feel sick and furious whenever I think about it. Anyway! Red Alert 3, and lots of it:

All fairly much as expected, in both positive and negative senses. Shame about that droning voiceover, though (I’m sure he’s a lovely chap, of course). A suitably in-theme Stalin impersonator would have made preposterous lines like “hopefully we’ll find some more Destroyers to mince up” significantly less mortifying.

Like C&C3, But With Better Water

Your attention, Comrades. Beneath the cut is the first trailer for Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, which has popped up on the face of the internet like some sort of damned-pinko-commie-scum pimple outbreak just this afternoon (in Her Majesty’s Royal Imperial Commonwealth All That Is Right Time anyway – presumably it’s some godforsaken hour in the morning for ye Yanquis). It brings with it a release date of sorts – October, apparently.

What will immediately have fans squealing is the return of the original RA’s Hell March RA2’s Hell March theme, as composed by Frank Klepacki – who I believe now hangs his hat on Petroglyph’s, er, hatstand rather than EA’s, so presumably this is just a straight re-using. Never quite understood the fuss about RA’s music myself, but it’s perhaps reassuring that the game’s looking to its heritage so.
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