Combining the stunt riding of Trials with the shoot-o-wackiness of Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon in Trials of the Blood Dragon [official site] did not go too well, our John will tell you. But do you believe everything John tells you? He told me that dog eggs are delicious, that ice cream vans jingle to warn they’re out of ice cream, and that a new food is why my hamster changed colour. So to hell with John! If he’s not your real dad either, you might want to try the demo coming this month – and playing it can earn you the full game if you’re good enough.

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Obviously the combination of physics-driven motorbike stunter Trials and the neon world of FPS spoof Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon would result in something ludicrous but gosh, Trials of the Blood Dragon still surprised me. Ubisoft officially announced the garish stunt game during their E3 press shindig today, a while after word of it leaked, and… then they launched it. It’s out now. You can buy it, download it, and start biking and gunning (yes, it has guns) through neon hellworlds right now. Look at this:

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Being in a motorbike accident is, I’ve been told, terrifying and awful, just awful, the pits, ugh, frightful, I really don’t think you’d like it. Yet watching a motorbike accident is, I’ve seen on You’ve Been Framed, a rib-tickling barrel of laughs. Tempering the horror of the first with the joy of the second, Trials Fusion now has online multiplayer to go with its local play. Nine months after the game came out, you and seven other folks can finally zip, flip, and shatter your hips together.

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Motorbikes are pretty cool, right? I’d love to learn to ride, but two things give me pause: a story from a family friend about scraping scraps his own skin out his bike leathers after an accident, and the terrifying physics of video game motorbikes suggesting that I’d quickly end up there myself, knife in hand. Trials games probably haven’t given the most realistic understanding of riding, mind.

As if competing with the tracks themselves, let alone on leaderboards, weren’t already challenge enough, RedLynx have added a new mode to Trials Fusion. Tournaments returned from older games in a patch yesterday, with whole sets of tracks to compete across.

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