Posts Tagged ‘rockstar’

Get A Job Working For Another Player In GTA Online

I'm paid to simply hold a gun like this for eight hours a day.

Not everyone can be The Big Cheese, and every gangster movie in the world shows the terrible fate befalling anyone who tries. So give up. Accept that you’re just another brick in the wall, another cog in the machine, another putz put on this beautiful green Earth to make a richer person’s life easier. Relax. It’s fine. Hey, I’m right there with you buddy. Let’s accept our fate. Let’s stop trying. Let’s embrace that futility. Let’s fill our entire lives with it. Let’s – you and me – get virtual jobs as bodyguards for richer players in Grand Theft Auto Online [official site].

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Grand Theft Auto Online Plays Thanksgiving Handegg

29! 42! 38! 87! 69! Hut! Hut! Hike! And that’s how the Pilgrims came in 1492 to the land we now know as the United States of A. One genocidal colonisation later, Thanksgiving in November is now a happy time for families to come together to eat pumpkins carved into the shape of turkeys, bicker, argue, threaten to call the police for real this year, and shout “29! 42! 38! 87! 69! Hut! Hut! Hike!” while shoving each other, just as the Pilgrims did all those years ago. This I have learned from watching American sitcoms.

This year, you can even hop into Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] to do pushing in a new American Foosbalt-inspired mode. Numbers not included.

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This Grand Theft Auto V Hulk Mod Looks Incredible

“We all have these reservoirs of anger: how do we deal with them? Deny them, so that they flare up? Or do we incorporate them into our being in an even fashion so that they are present and not prominent?” asked Joss Whedon, the director of Marvel’s The Avengers, when explaining how they wrote The Incredible Hulk’s personality in the 2012 film. The answer? Well, aye, all of that, probably. But also smashing up Los Santos, ripping lamp posts from the ground, and tossing cars hundreds of feet into the air. That feels pretty good, too.

This Incredible Hulk script mod for Grand Theft Auto V [official site] is the best.

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Now Rolling: Grand Theft Auto Online’s Lowriders Update

Lowriders are something to do with Marmite, as I understand it, so I’m delighted that Rockstar have dedicated an entire Grand Theft Auto Online [official site] update to this sterling British toast topping. Launched today, the Lowriders update adds loads of new ways to customise cars, which I assume include making them look like Marmite jars. You’ll also find a fourth purchasable property, new clothes, hairstyles, and accessories, extra missions, and other jazz.

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Have You Played… Grand Theft Auto: Vice City?

Have You Played? is an endless stream of game recommendations. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.

I wouldn’t call Grand Theft Auto: Vice City [official site] the best GTA game, but I might say it’s my favourite. Between the eerie deadness of GTA 3 and the sprawl of San Andreas sat a tidy little game about ’80s Miami bathed in neon and dusted with cocaine. It was a crude sketch of future plans for the series, done on the back of a copy of Scarface‘s script, but its roughness left gaps that the atmosphere nicely filled.

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GTA Online Livens Up Open World With Freemode Events

Before Grand Theft Auto V [official site] came out, I imagined I’d vanish into GTA Online for a few months for freeform sandbox shenanigans with a load of other folks. Turned out, the online side’s open world itself was pretty dead (aside from folks with superguns kindly supermurdering me until I turned on Passive Mode) and the action involved lots of boring lobbies and waiting and loading. It was not the dynamic world I’d hoped for. Well, I’ll be dropping back in tonight, now that Rockstar have livened things up.

An update today brings Freemode Events, activities that just happen in the world, from arena brawls to… becoming a werewolf? Interesting! Have a look:

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Rockstar Investigating Grand Theft Auto V FPS Loss

Grand Theft Auto V‘s [official site] patch 1.28 brought new vehicles, weapons, and clothes to the open-world murder simulator as the second part of its Ill-Gotten Gains update, but it seems a few undesireable elements may have tagged along too. Rumblings and grumbling are going round about the game running slower since the update, and Rockstar are looking into it.

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