I am the very model of a contented desktop Admiral,
I’ve information financial, political, and tactical,
I grow my navy patiently to echo fights historical,
Not Tsushima or Jutland, but battles roughly comparable;
I mull over decisions with implications international,
And design my own ships using rules quite mathematical;
Exposed to a wargame this deep, fresh, and dreadnoughtical,
It would be profoundly criminal not to get a little evangelical.