You’ll never guess what Ian Video Games heard down at the trademark and patent office! Oh, yes, of course someone said “This is the daftest idea I’ve ever heard”, you’re right there. His patent does make a certain sort of sense if you think about it, though. Inevitably some Frankenstein will make a perpetual motion machine by strapping buttered toast to a cat and hurling it off a roof – but how will they safely attach the toast to the cat? Cushioned heat-resistant toast straps. Always thinking ahead, that Ian.
Anyway, no, the other thing he heard: someone filing a trademark for a standalone version of Gwent, the card game from The Witcher 3.