That right there? That’s Sir Buttersworth. His hobbies include savoring life’s most delicate fineries and single-handedly justifying the existence of Serious Sam 3‘s Steam Workshop support. Oh, and loping ever onward – to almost completely certain death – in dim hope of truly understanding that most top-hat-less of Others, Serious Sam. Can’t forget that. But he is not alone, neither in that indirectly suicidal pursuit nor his presence on Steam Workshop. Sam’s only just arrived on Valve’s mod-friendly service, but his page is already impressively populated.

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Lewie’s away being fitted for birthday hats and I’m all alone in the Savy Tower this weekend. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I was racing the bargain-bots down the endless stairs when Lewie appeared to me in a text message. ‘Tony, you should probably find cheap games’ he said – in an impressive hat – so here I am. If you are in London on May 4th, please do come celebrate five years of Savygamer, more details and daily deals are on SavyGamer.co.uk. Hats welcome.

In the bucket today: Syndicate (the fab one), Gratuitous Space Battles, Total War packs, Serious Sam 3 and, oh, all sorts.
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Some companies’ DRM is stupidly cruel, punishing only those who have legitimately purchased the game, and not those who pirate it. Well, most companies’ DRM is that. Serious Sam 3’s DRM is brilliantly cruel, punishing only those who pirated it. By relentlessly pursuing them with a giant invincible armoured scorpion. As revealed by Dark Side Of Gaming, only those who unlawfully duplicate the game encounter this immortal enemy, who haunts them from the opening moments. You can see it in action below.

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The third Serious Sam game is released on Steam at 6pm today. TODAY! That’s so soon it’s almost right now. I guess we are working on a review of it. Are we? I am imagining that the other members of RPS are sort of shrugging non-committally in response to this question, but actually I have no idea, because I am sat in an annex of my kitchen typing this gibberish into the internet, and they are off being heroes in various corners of post-industrial England. Perhaps they actually are shrugging, but have no idea why, such is their psychic connection to the PC gaming blog… So spooky. Anyway, there’s a launch trailer below, and a hands-on from John over here. Read, watch, think, judge, decide.
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New up-and-coming games writing wannabe Craig Pearson is with us this week. Say hello to the young Scottish chancer!

Croteam’s Serious Sam 3: BFE, which I hope stands for ‘Best Friends forEver’, has an exciting new trailer out where the guns are relegated to second place. In place of well-oiled gun barrels and polished, throbbing rockets it’s the grim melee assaults that strut confidently around in their chaps. It’s like the Queensbury Rules: 2nd edition, where “That no shoes or boots with spikes or sprigs be allowed”, has been replaced with “If your heart is ripped out and squeezed into a paste, you have till the count of ten to get back on your feet.”

The uncouth violence is below.
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Betrayal! Oh, the wound! Why, why, why? The eve of shamelessly excessive manshooting with a retro flavour but a hypermodern look was almost upon us, and then they only go and move the release date of Serious Sam 3: BFE back by a month. You’re not going to be playing this on October 18 after all. I BET THEY DON’T EVEN LOVE US AT ALL. I bet they don’t even like us. Wonder what crappy reason they’re going to fob us off with? So they can add more DRM? Because some suit at Microsoft told them to? Because they’re in a dark alliance with an evil retail chain? Or just because they’re cold, mean-hearted bastards?
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These Rich Knuckles / Serious Sam 3 helpline videos aren’t ever going to stop, are they? As long as that man has breath in his body, he will just keep on uttering catchphrases, puns, mum gags and snarky digs at the competition. And reassuring people that 16-player co-op does not count as an orgy.

(I heard a rumour they filmed 13 thousand of these videos back to back. 3,124 cameraman died in the process. Knuckles ate their festering corpses in order to keep going himself, though he left all the fingers. He doesn’t like fingers. That’s just what I heard, anyway.)

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Part 2 of Croteam/Devolver Digital’s crazed Serious Sam 3: BFE Helpline videos is here! And we’re going to post it even though we posted the last one like five minutes ago or something! Because it’s very funny! And it contains the much-speculated-upon answer to how one man can carry so many cannonballs! Have a good evening!
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How many trailers manage to accurately convey a design philosophy while also being pretty damn funny? I’ve done some swift calculations on my abaci and mathomancy tells me that the correct answer is this one for Serious Sam 3: BFE. Despite pouring scorn on so many modern gaming conventions, the whole thing is so gleeful that it doesn’t seem spiteful, just completely and incurably insane.

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Croteam have revealed the release date for Serious Sam 3: BFE. It shall be with us on the 18th October, and you can pre-order it now soon on Steam, GetGames, and so on. Should you? Well, take a look at the new in-game trailer below to get an idea.

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The fans, they demanded of Croteam that Serious Sam 3: BFE feature four-player splitscreen play. And so it came to pass. RPS can exclusively reveal that the forthcoming ultro-shooter will allow you to gather around a PC monitor with your chums and FIGHT. Up to three gamepads can be used alongside one mouse and keyboard to have four-player multiplayer and co-op. You can see full-size screens below.

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Some astonishing controversy from Friday that escaped our gaze – Devolver Digital, they publishing Serious Sam 3: BFE, have announced that they’ve scrapped their planned proprietary digital distribution service, Krundle, and instead are opting to use Steam. And not Origin. The press release, containing their reasoning and what could have been (including features such as “Free-to-Play-for-Fifty-Bucks games wherein the consumer is free to play the game once it is purchased for $50”, and velvet-covered jet skis), is below.

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A rather silly email appears alerting us to the shock news that Croteam’s Lead In-Game Wall Graffiti Artist, Davor Kovač, has quit the company midway through the development of Serious Sam 3: BFE, “to pursue his dream of being quoted in a rushed press release”. So now the team are asking players to come up with the nonsense that will appear on the game’s walls.

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