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Feature: Hard right to my heart
If there’s anything that can bring a dose of certainty to a dark night in the Polish countryside, it’s that voice. “Flat left over jump, extra extra long keep middle 170,” it says as we speed by trees and hedgerows and fields and barns. I can’t see the world outside the glare of my headlights, but that voice knows everything. “Into six right, opens over…
Feature: Credit where it's due
"Audio logs", said a game designer, eliciting a chorus of involuntary groans from absolutely everyone. They're clumsy, they're silly, and they're usually badly done, to the point where it's tempting to insist that they be consigned to history altogether. That would probably be overkill.
Feature: The pursuit of happiness
I have been skittering around Outer Wilds like one of those birds who lives on a rhino's back and survives by eating rhino dandruff (I have watched both series of Planet Earth). I haven't been able to sit and play it in big sessions, but I've been picking at it and finding interesting morsels, making a bit more progress each time. I'd be making more…
Feature: Oh! Yes! Hammer down!
While some people might be into neon-lime Dragonblades and only the edgiest of Reaper skins, my favourite part of Overwatch is its spawn rooms. It’s fun to enter the fray guns blazing from time to time, it is supposed to be an FPS after all. But there’s something about the spawn rooms in Overwatch that adds an extra layer to how you connect with the…
Feature: No pressure
The submarine is filling with seawater and nobody left alive is doing anything about it. The captain is calmly discussing the battery life of his headset radio with the ship’s doctor, who is standing still on the upper decks fiddling with his inventory. Two decks below them a ravenous trio of giant, shrimp-like sea creatures are burrowing from crew quarters to medical bay, flooding the…
Feature: Chocks away!
I’ve been virtually flying Spitfires for as long as I can remember. I’ve shot down scores of Stukas, maimed messes of Messerschmitts and hunted hosts of Heinkels. But never have I thought about who refuels my plane when I get home for tea and medals. Who reloads the guns, patches up the bullet holes, and grumbles about me putting too much stress on the engine.…
Feature: Just Kosmos
The Assassin’s Creed series is no stranger to promoting the wholesale murder of folks with whom you disagree. From battling Templars on the seas of the Caribbean to viciously and repeatedly punching the pope, these games have a history of exacting revenge on all-powerful (yet never successful) shadow organisations. A few hours into Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, you’ll come across another one. The “Cult of Kosmos”…
Feature: The real trial was the squirrels we made along the way
Even as a kid, I always had a fascination with death. It’s manifested in a number of different ways over the years. From learning various mythologies to get a grasp on their take on the afterlife, to reading mystery novels that taught me hundreds of impractical ways to nearly get away with murder, most of my hobbies involved death in some form. So, it's not…
Feature: Real Life Madrid
The latest Football Manager is the most accessible yet. Which means less stressing over incremental tweaks, stats and numbers, and more scope to channel your energy in a completely different direction. This season, play it as it was intended (by me) to be played: with a dash of live-action roleplay. Whether you’re a tracksuit coach or a three-piece supervisor, the world’s most comprehensive soccer management…
Feature: Cold front
I like bad weather and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the raw, sublime beauty of it. More likely, it’s a form of meteorological Stockholm Syndrome. I’ve lived in Britain long enough to appreciate being constantly rained on (at least until Summer when my face melts off onto the pavement). But the bad weather I’m talking about lies in the Goldilocks zone. I want neither…
Feature: Safety dance
The joy of being the belle of the ball in Dragon Age Inquisition
From darkspawn to archdemons, Dragon Age is renowned for its epic battle against undead beasties seeking to wreak havoc in Thedas. However, my favourite mission in the entire series isn’t a magnificent fight, nor has it anything to do with high tales of monsters and men. My favourite mission is a fancy party in Dragon Age Inquisition.
Feature: Choose life
The Joy Of laying down your arms in theHunter: Call of the Wild
I’ve never been a big fan of hunting, which is why I didn’t think I’d be so captivated by theHunter: Call of the Wild. But I don’t love it for the hunting. I discovered that, once you lay down your arms and forget about bringing home the venison, this hunting simulator becomes an amazingly relaxing experience. If you subvert its purpose almost entirely, it’s actually…
Feature: Scream if you wanna go faster
I’m not usually one for speedrunning. I do however get a kick out of being able to get through a game much faster on the second or third time around. There’s just an immense satisfaction of revisiting a brain-bending puzzle or boss fight that had you agonising over an hour the first time, only to mop it up in minutes on a second run. Of…
Feature: The Maiar are super OP and should be nerfed tbh
The Joy Of playing Gandalf in The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
Bear with me for a minute, and let me tell you about the greatest Lord Of The Rings game ever released. There have been myriad games based on Tolkien’s work, most of which weren’t very good. Some more recent efforts include War In The North and Shadow Of Mordor. I liked the latter a lot, but the fact remains that there is one game to…
Feature: Story ain't a dirty word
I have to admit, I’m not the best at every video game, but I’m just awful at Western RPGs. I never wrapped my head around Neverwinter Nights’ D&D style of play. I built my character incorrectly in Knights of the Old Republic and it made my playthrough excruciatingly difficult. I’ve passed on playing other popular WRPGs like Planescape: Torment just for the fear of having…
Feature: Jonesing for more
Every game of Into the Breach tasks you with just about the biggest, most noble mission there is: save the world, this tiny watery globe we call home, from giant bug attacks, over and over again. But it also offers a smaller, more personal mission that’s a little easier to get your head round: save one specific person. At the end of a game -…
Feature: Forced surveillance
Tacoma is a game about a world that never stops watching. Corporations have achieved vertical integration on a near-total level, functioning as distinct economies running on contract workers and loyalty points. You go to the Amazon school, you work at your Amazon job, you get paid in Amazon points. The characters of the game are so consumed by the anxiety of keeping up with this…
Feature: Find 5 chicken dinners (area marked on map)
The Joy Of playing Fortnite Battle Royale like an open world game
The purest fantasy on offer in open worlds isn't always discussed. It's the opportunity to take pleasure in being distracted. It's fantasy because, like hurling fireballs, you can't really do it in real life. Distracted driving leads to fenders in horseshoe shapes around tree trunks. Distraction at work leads to empty-feeling EODs. But distraction in a good open world game is a joy; a chance…
Feature: Flambé zombé
Resident Evil HD Remaster is a three-year-old shine-job of a 17-year-old remake of a 23-year-old console game that I’d have little problem believing was a modern release if those corridor dogs weren’t seared into my memory and stained into my underoos. That those corridor dogs are stained into our collective underoos (the vast interconnected underoo network that binds us all) suggests that Resident Evil is…
Feature: Push with your knees, not your back
The first time I pushed someone downstairs in Hitman: Blood Money, I felt faintly guilty. Not because I'd just killed a person, but because The Agency, my bar-coded assassin's employers, had gone to the trouble of providing me with a wealth of lethal equipment. Yet here I was, sending people to their deaths without touching a single item. Was I putting someone out of a…
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