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Feature: The real trial was the squirrels we made along the way
Even as a kid, I always had a fascination with death. It’s manifested in a number of different ways over the years. From learning various mythologies to get a grasp on their take on the afterlife, to reading mystery novels that taught me hundreds of impractical ways to nearly get away with murder, most of my hobbies involved death in some form. So, it's not…
Feature: Real Life Madrid
The latest Football Manager is the most accessible yet. Which means less stressing over incremental tweaks, stats and numbers, and more scope to channel your energy in a completely different direction. This season, play it as it was intended (by me) to be played: with a dash of live-action roleplay. Whether you’re a tracksuit coach or a three-piece supervisor, the world’s most comprehensive soccer management…
Feature: Cold front
I like bad weather and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the raw, sublime beauty of it. More likely, it’s a form of meteorological Stockholm Syndrome. I’ve lived in Britain long enough to appreciate being constantly rained on (at least until Summer when my face melts off onto the pavement). But the bad weather I’m talking about lies in the Goldilocks zone. I want neither…
Feature: Safety dance
The joy of being the belle of the ball in Dragon Age Inquisition
From darkspawn to archdemons, Dragon Age is renowned for its epic battle against undead beasties seeking to wreak havoc in Thedas. However, my favourite mission in the entire series isn’t a magnificent fight, nor has it anything to do with high tales of monsters and men. My favourite mission is a fancy party in Dragon Age Inquisition.
Feature: Choose life
The Joy Of laying down your arms in theHunter: Call of the Wild
I’ve never been a big fan of hunting, which is why I didn’t think I’d be so captivated by theHunter: Call of the Wild. But I don’t love it for the hunting. I discovered that, once you lay down your arms and forget about bringing home the venison, this hunting simulator becomes an amazingly relaxing experience. If you subvert its purpose almost entirely, it’s actually…
Feature: Scream if you wanna go faster
I’m not usually one for speedrunning. I do however get a kick out of being able to get through a game much faster on the second or third time around. There’s just an immense satisfaction of revisiting a brain-bending puzzle or boss fight that had you agonising over an hour the first time, only to mop it up in minutes on a second run. Of…
Feature: The Maiar are super OP and should be nerfed tbh
The Joy Of playing Gandalf in The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
Bear with me for a minute, and let me tell you about the greatest Lord Of The Rings game ever released. There have been myriad games based on Tolkien’s work, most of which weren’t very good. Some more recent efforts include War In The North and Shadow Of Mordor. I liked the latter a lot, but the fact remains that there is one game to…
Feature: Story ain't a dirty word
I have to admit, I’m not the best at every video game, but I’m just awful at Western RPGs. I never wrapped my head around Neverwinter Nights’ D&D style of play. I built my character incorrectly in Knights of the Old Republic and it made my playthrough excruciatingly difficult. I’ve passed on playing other popular WRPGs like Planescape: Torment just for the fear of having…
Feature: Jonesing for more
Every game of Into the Breach tasks you with just about the biggest, most noble mission there is: save the world, this tiny watery globe we call home, from giant bug attacks, over and over again. But it also offers a smaller, more personal mission that’s a little easier to get your head round: save one specific person. At the end of a game -…
Feature: Forced surveillance
Tacoma is a game about a world that never stops watching. Corporations have achieved vertical integration on a near-total level, functioning as distinct economies running on contract workers and loyalty points. You go to the Amazon school, you work at your Amazon job, you get paid in Amazon points. The characters of the game are so consumed by the anxiety of keeping up with this…
Feature: Find 5 chicken dinners (area marked on map)
The Joy Of playing Fortnite Battle Royale like an open world game
The purest fantasy on offer in open worlds isn't always discussed. It's the opportunity to take pleasure in being distracted. It's fantasy because, like hurling fireballs, you can't really do it in real life. Distracted driving leads to fenders in horseshoe shapes around tree trunks. Distraction at work leads to empty-feeling EODs. But distraction in a good open world game is a joy; a chance…
Feature: Flambé zombé
Resident Evil HD Remaster is a three-year-old shine-job of a 17-year-old remake of a 23-year-old console game that I’d have little problem believing was a modern release if those corridor dogs weren’t seared into my memory and stained into my underoos. That those corridor dogs are stained into our collective underoos (the vast interconnected underoo network that binds us all) suggests that Resident Evil is…
Feature: Push with your knees, not your back
The first time I pushed someone downstairs in Hitman: Blood Money, I felt faintly guilty. Not because I'd just killed a person, but because The Agency, my bar-coded assassin's employers, had gone to the trouble of providing me with a wealth of lethal equipment. Yet here I was, sending people to their deaths without touching a single item. Was I putting someone out of a…
Feature: P-p-p-ping!
Prior to playing SteamWorld Heist, I had no idea that a developer's dedication to a single material could make me grin from ear to ear. This is a turn-based strategy game centred around metal.
Feature: Slow your roll
Playing Katamari Damacy Reroll can be a lot more unwieldy than you’d expect. But then using both analogue sticks to move and steer your katamari makes sense because it sort of represents the arms of your little prince who’s pushing this katamari in front of him, which gets bigger and bigger the more objects he rolls up. It’d make sense for it to feel unwieldy,…
Feature: Twinkle twinkle
We easily take the stars for granted. The starry sky is something we can see every night, and while the starscape changes with the seasons, an untrained eye wouldn’t know the difference. While we think nothing of looking up at the stars and the moon at night, in another reality it would be impossible. In Planetarian: The Reverie Of A Little Planet, Earth is plunged…
Feature: I ship it
The Joy of having all my girlfriends aboard in Assassin’s Creed Odyssey
In a game series that seemed to be dominated by male stories, Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is a beautiful, sapphic dream by comparison. Women in Assassin’s Creed Odyssey play a huge role. Whether they’re your mother, your lover, your sister or your friend, women are significant in a way that’s always been needed in one of Ubisoft’s biggest games. So, imagine my delight that the role…
Feature: Ah yes, repressing your feelings
Memory is a funny old thing. Our brains are like faulty cameras, letting us unconsciously suppress moments of our lives and swap them out for brighter, more palatable realities. When we’re reminded of these small time capsules, the serene environments we were in and the people we were with, we often feel an endorphin rush and a lurid longing for something that isn’t there anymore.…
Feature: Death becomes us
From the outset, everything in The Banner Saga seems designed to encourage you to be careful. As you lead your caravan towards safety, you try to keep people alive by rationing food, managing the number of your followers and weighing the dangers of the unknown. Anyone who has ever given a soldier in XCOM a custom name knows that it takes very little to get…
Feature: Kiryu is the best boy
Within the first hour of Yakuza 0, Kazuma Kiryu has to re-evaluate most of what he’s come to believe in. The crime family he’s been loyal to actually has no problem with selling him out, and Kiryu has to somehow prove his innocence in a murder plot, as well as stop a large-scale turf war. Over the course of many conversations, Kiryu is quickly established…
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