I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve had an especially stressful, topsy turvy week. Also, we’ve been posting about bloody manshoots and manwars and carshoots and carmanbloodwars for ages due to Gamescom’s monolithic domination of the news cannons, and it’s time for a change of pace. I want something relaxing. Something soothing. Something that creates instead of reducing everything around it to chalky pools of ash and blood. I want… an ethereal gardening simulator! Watashi Wa Hijo Ni Yoku Nihongo Hanasenai sees you breathe life into a barren, featureless expanse while dreamy melodies dance and drift through the background. Occasionally, there are turtles. It made me feel all warm and happy in my heart chambers.