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Posts tagged “wot i think”

Feature: Skeleton war

Warhammer 40k: Mechanicus review

Cyborg Popes vs. immortal pharaoh terminators, woop woop. As Games Workshop rent out their license to anyone who can spell ‘ork’ correctly, their slightly fashy gothic future setting occasionally turns out a real treat of a match up. Bulwark Studios’ Mechanicus is one of the most polished and atmospheric titles to use the name in years, starting with a base coat borrowed from tactics genre…

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Feature: Morally ambiguous west

Bad North review

Bad North is the first game for a long while that has stirred in me a terrible desire to have it in physical toy form. I would, I think, love nothing more right now than to have a tiny island on my desk, with tiny squads of soldiers and tiny corpses of my enemies on the shore, near where they had beached their tiny boats.…

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Feature: Sing me to life

Wandersong review

You can jump on your bed in Wandersong. You start the game by waking up after a revelation: the end is nigh, and you can’t do anything about it because you’re just a bard, the most useless class ever. The situation doesn’t look good. But before getting out of your house, you can jump on your bed. And in that moment I understood that, despite…

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Feature: Burn rubber, baby

Steel Rats review

Okay so get this rap, cats: You got you yer motorcycles, you got yer steampunk, you got you yer sadboy walking to the right. It can’t go wrong, right? This is a sure thing. We got this. You, me, and the rest of us rat-eared mutants are gonna hit the big time with this thing. This here Steel Rats game checks all the boxes, and…

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Feature: Fulda Gap

Armored Brigade review (part 2)

How vexing. I'd planned to devote the lion's share of today's column to that portion of Veitikka's debut title last month's overwhelmingly approbatory preview-cum-review didn't cover. Like many I was expecting this friendly top-down conflation of Close Combat, Combat Mission, and Command Ops to ship with something the preview code lacked. A campaign.

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Feature: Well Appointed

The Room Three review

The Room, as I once very wisely said, is the game Myst should have been. Astoundingly pretty graphics, impossible mechanisms and peculiar levers, switches and buttons, and so very many puzzles to solve, all set within a story so mysterious as to be close to impossible to fathom. Except in The Room's series of games there's a coherence, a delicacy of touch, and a far…

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Feature: Hungry hungry dinos

Ark: Extinction review

I’ve built an army of inflatable flesh bags that puff themselves up to three times their normal size and then launch into the air like oversized, leaky balloons. They’re called Gasbags, and they’re my favourite dinosaur in Extinction, the latest expansion to Ark: Survival Evolved. Whenever I don’t fancy aimlessly floating around on the back of one, I can load any metal I’ve collected into…

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Feature: Needs more skis

Battlefield V review

Croutons adrift in war-soup. If you want an analogy for playing soldiers in Battlefield V, it’s hard to do better than that. That soup is delicious, but it’s also very easy to drown in. You’re one tiny ant in a conflict that’ll crush you without even realising you’re there, in an arena dominated by disposability. None of this is new.

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Feature: Not as good as waffles

Overkill’s The Walking Dead review

“Good luck boyos.” The four of us are standing in a descending elevator, each grasping a holdall of supplies. We’re preparing to make one final, treacherous push through a warehouse of shambling flesh nibblers to our getaway truck. The sudden excitement in the chat log clues me in to the upcoming danger. To be honest, I think most of it is for my benefit. Before…

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Feature: Be a weapon

Hitman 2 review

As you sneak through an underground tunnel that you’ve just discovered, taking out cameras and hiding dead bodies that should just be unconscious (but you’re bad at this), it’s easy to forget how clever Hitman 2 is. Discovery begets invention, paving the way for the kill, and although IO’s latest take on their murder-sim doesn’t veer too far from the previous game's reinvention, it spends…

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Feature: Dream Machine

Football Manager 2019 review

For those without much free time or a pre-existing, intimate understanding of its framework, understanding Football Manager’s enormous locker room of riches has been a problem. You might be the most eager wannabe digital gaffer of all time, but if you can’t digest the tools required to motivate players, scout new ones and combine their skills on the pitch, then your only legacy will be…

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Feature: Do not answer

Call of Cthulhu review

I played the first three hours of Call of Cthulhu, and in my unconventional preview after the fact I said that I liked exploring the docks and talking to grizzled locals and detectoring my way through problems. At the end of the preview you reach the bit where you find the cult, and you totally know what’s up, but your character Edward Pierce has no…

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Feature: Funky fresh beats

Lethal League Blaze review

Lethal League Blaze is a springy, frenetic future-sport played by an underground league of robots, skaters, mercenaries and a sentient boombox. Imagine baseball, but then strip away all the parts that don’t involve whacking a ball, replacing them with violent duels between two to four brawlers. In these duels, the baseball is the sole weapon. That might be underselling it. The ball is a relentless,…

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Feature: Very Paw Indeed

Wot Toby & I Think: Paw Patrol – On A Roll

I am perhaps not the world's biggest fan of Paw Patrol. I think it's fair to say I hate it with a fiery passion burning like the sun. My son, one week away from turning 4, likes it a fair amount. Not his favourite - it's no Octonauts or Wild Kratts - but enough that I put him to bed in Paw Patrol pyjamas. Our…

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Feature: Foalcalibur

Soulcalibur VI review

This is Hooves. He loves to stab and parry and slash and speak in an alien tongue about how good he is at all of those things. Hooves also enjoys setting folks on fire, and paralysing people with frightening runes, which has led some observers (me) to dub him “Horse Geralt” after the hero of The Witcher 3. Unbeknownst to Hooves, he is a clone…

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Feature: Blop till you drop

Call Of Duty: Black Ops 4 review

CODBLOPS: *snarls* Person: I’d... I’d like to shoot some people, please. CODBLOPS: *spits* HOW? HOW would you like to shoot people? Person: Well PUBG: *coughs* Person: Um CSGO: *also coughs* Person: Overwatch: Hi! Call Of Duty: Black Ops 4 reminds of an ugly, angry man who’s trying to sell me guns. It’s not that I don’t want to buy those guns, I just wish the…

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Feature: Injustice League

Lego DC Super-Villains review

Right, quick version: Lego DC Super-Villains is another franchised Lego game, and if you've played any they've made since around 2013, you already know everything you need to know about it. Open city (Gotham and Metropolis to start) mixed with missions, eighty billion characters, nine hundred trillion collectables, lots of silly cutscenes, tons of bugs, abysmal vehicle controls, and enough to do to keep you,…

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Feature: They finally Gwent and did it

Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales review

Thronebreaker has been taking me for a ride. Fighting monsters and blackclad horsemen in this card-game-sorta-RPG is a bit like being on a bumpy mine cart. You’re going up and down and swiping lots of gold along the way, the ride is smooth then boring then exciting then dull. Sometimes it could use a diesel engine. Or something more environmentally friendly? I don’t know, this…

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Feature: Welcome to the story farm, we grow disaster

RimWorld review

RimWorld is a game of perfect catastrophe. Not simply a homage to Dwarf Fortress, or a skin graft of Prison Architect, it has spent five years of early access becoming its own simulation of farce, hopefulness and inevitable disaster. Today, it's finally "done". It starts as an opaque management game about the marooned survivors of a sci-fi shipwreck. But it quickly harnesses the darkness and…

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Feature: Sloth Marines

Space Hulk: Tactics review

In the last five years alone, there have been four video game adaptations of the Warhammer 40,000 spin-off, Space Hulk. Plenty of chances to get it right, you’d think, though the first three attempts suggest otherwise. And here comes Space Hulk: Tactics, once again throwing gruesome Genestealers against stompy Terminators in derelict spaceship corridors. It’s not quite a combo-breaker, but it gets very close.

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