If you click on a link and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. Learn more.

Teased: Battlefield 4 Will Have Boats, Awful Slogan

On principle, I despise blink-and-you'll-miss-it brief, nearly information-free teasers. Unfortunately, they're also almost exclusively the chosen language of triple-A publishers these days - at least until they open the floodgates on enough footage to spoil the entire game a month before it comes out. I would, however, be remiss if I didn't mention that a) Battlefield 4 very clearly exists and b) year of the boat (the previously discussed year of the bow successor) sails ever onward, major franchises crashing against its monolithic hull like brittle kiddie pool waves. Watch both of the thus-far released (ugh, argh, grr, bleh) teasers after the break and pluck delicious, delicious proof from the pudding.

PREPARE 4 BATTLE. AND MAKE IT DOUBLE.

Wait, wrong thing. But anyway, yes, that's the real slogan, and no, I haven't mailed a package of refrigerator magnets and a message that reads "please for the love of god try again" to EA's marketing team yet, but I'm considering it.

Also, in case you were worried, Battlefield 4 has land, too! Tanks roam it in graceful herds, sipping from watering holes and defending their young, as they often do. Meanwhile, using my extremely mysterious and alluring brand of prophetic voodoo, I can nearly 100 percent guarantee that a third teaser entitled "Air" will be along any second now. It will feature planes and be brought to you by the incorrectly used number four. HOW DOES HE DO IT? WOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOO.

I'm sorry. I'll stop shouting and derisively ghost wailing now. At any rate, the grand unveiling is coming on March 26th, and RPS will be there to hunt whomever devised this silly teaser scheme like an anima-- I mean report on it or whatever.

Join the Rock Paper Shotgun supporter program

Sign up today and get access to more articles like these, an ad-free reading experience, free gifts, and help us create more great writing about PC games.

See more information

Comments

We love having a friendly, positive and constructive community - you lot are great - and we want to keep it like that. Our main commenting rule is "be excellent to each other". Please see our code of conduct, where you can find out what "be excellent" means. TL;DR? Respect others, think before you post, and be prepared for puns.

More News

Latest Articles