Bird Strike: Curse Of The Chocolate Fountain

By John Walker on January 26th, 2011 at 12:43 pm.

In fairness, this is revenge on birds.

I adore the internet. All I have to do is tweet that there aren’t enough games that cause me to shout, “Out of the way, duck!” and into my email comes another game that makes me shout, “Out of the way, duck!” And it prominently features poo. It’s like my birthday, Christmas and a royal wedding all rolled into one. It’s called Icarus Proudbottom In: The Curse Of The Chocolate Fountain, and it’s about a man propelled through the air by an unstoppable spray of shit from his bottom. Dodging birds.

And they say games are immature?! Take your BioShocks and your Deus Exes, and put them just behind my little pixel figure showering butt juice across the world. The opening dialogue in this epic is my favourite ever:

“Holy wow! I can’t stop making boom booms out of my bottom!”

I don’t see Chris Avellone or Ragnar Tørnquist offering that sort of poetic prose. You get two lives, the first time you hit a bird causing you to lose all your clothes, then second time, death.

It’s 20MB, it features a spirit owl as a guide, and it’s your reason for owning a PC. Huge thanks to Bas for the tip.

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75 Comments »

  1. kutkh says:

    I once touched a duck and all my clothes fell off. Wait, no. Other way around.

  2. AndrewC says:

    I’m fairly sure this was linked to here last August (but I don’t know how to search by date), so I’m going to make a pre-emptive gypsey firsties curse on all the people who are about to say ‘old’ by saying ‘poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop’.

    Thanks.

    • John Walker says:

      From my exhaustive searching I can find no evidence for that.

      But Graham “Lying Liar” Smith claims he mentioned it on a thing called “Pee Pee Gamer” or something a few months back.

    • AndrewC says:

      Here we go, it was the RPS tribute blog:

      http://www.pcgamer.com/2010/08/15/the-curse-of-the-chocolate-fountain/

      Old poo! Which is now making me realise you never see white dog poo anymore. Now I miss white dog poo.

    • Sarlix says:

      I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen white dog poo. You don’t forget something like that.

    • AndrewC says:

      Ah! I only just now realised that you subtley changed the name of their blog in your last reply. You are a satirical genius, John Walker.

      And if your dog does a white poo these days, i’d suggest keeping the tipp-ex on a higher shelf.

    • Sarlix says:

      What do you mean these days? you keep speaking in the past tense as if white dog poo is no longer available. I know neither of us has seen it in a long time, but I don’t think we need to move it to mythological status just yet.

  3. DiamondDog says:

    How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

    Put it into a microwave until it’s Bill Withers.

    • stahlwerk says:

      NoooooooOOOoooo!

    • The Tupper says:

      How do you make a porno star into a war hero?
      Put him in the fridge until hiz Dick Winters.

      Man, I have to admit that’s poor – and I made it up.

  4. Gunrun says:

    This was made a while ago for the Something Awful Game Dev Challenge 5, who’s theme was “You can’t…”
    Page for the game is here – http://labtanner.com/gamedev/index.php?title=1-2-3_Blast_On!
    edit: Looks like the url thinger isn’t working right, and is ignoring the !
    Add it yourself or go to http://labtanner.com/gamedev/index.php?title=SA_GameDev_V and then find it on the page.

  5. chakraist says:

    I signed up to comment on what an amazing thing this is. I are new. I feel like I want to say ‘what a shame’ at some point, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed.

  6. Pie21 says:

    I bet this crap would fly off the shelves if any retailer would take it.

  7. Initialised says:

    That’s class, a perfect match for my sense of humour, had me in stitches.

    I want it on iPhone and Android (with funding from adds for bog roll).

  8. Quintin Smith says:

    Ah, I get it. That’s where I’ve been wrong with these interesting indie games I’ve been posting. Not enough shit-propulsion systems.

  9. DevilSShadoW says:

    I hereby sue RPS for making me spray coffee on my monitor as a result of an involuntary audible expression or appearance of excitement caused by the current post I’m writing in.

    Or. Not.

    I seriously lol’d tho’

  10. AndrewC says:

    There’s also ducks in Divinity 2 and they’re, like, 3 feet high. They’re not monsters, but they’re just milling about in a village, being all slightly-too-big. I found them quite scary.

    • PhiIl Cameron says:

      Was it a form of anatidaephobia?

    • AndrewC says:

      Megalophobia? Prorataphobia? Poorqaphobia?

    • Jerricho says:

      That article had a moment of comic transcendence when the ad had a picture of a duck in it. I wish I’d screen-capped it.

      Update: thank you, internets. http://failblog.org/2009/10/23/ad-placement-fail-4/

    • Sarlix says:

      I actually got attacked by a duck once. I was on a school trip to a bird park and I got too close to a herd of baby ducklings. Next thing I knew the mother duck had attached herself to my elbow and I started flapping my arms and running around in a circle. All the onlookers just laughed as I was being savaged. True story – you don’t forget something like that.

      I don’t have anatidaephobia though.

  11. Wilson says:

    This was great, but somewhat marred by the final battle for me. Having three irritating bits where you are in no danger, then one tricky bit, then attacking your enemy, and repeating that cycle three times, was not quite thought through in my opinion. I almost gave up, which would have been a shame.

    • Gpig says:

      I don’t think the final boss was intended to be hard. For the lasers just do what you did before and then when he glows and does the nearly screen filling laser just go to the opposite side of the screen. When he starts shooting balls you just sit in the bottom right of the screen.

  12. somini says:

    “http://www.kongregate.com/games/nagnazul/you-have-no-legs”
    This is the game that won Something Awful Game Dev Challenge 5. The chocolate fountain came third. Hilarious!
    EDIT:html tags FAIL for me…

  13. LozTaylor says:

    I think Boom Booms might be the new Bag of Milky Ways.

  14. Oozo says:

    Ah, childhood flashback! This might be the true story of Nils Holgersson Saturday morning cartoons didn’t dare to tell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzCygWJD4Og

    Also: Is that the crunchy Battletoads-sfx ringing in my ear whenever I touch one of the pretty birds?

  15. po says:

    Reminded me of this little flash video, which features more poo-powered-propulsion.

  16. Ba5 says:

    Oh wow internet credits go to me! Wait until I mention this in the pub, I will go home with one woman on each side.

  17. DJ Phantoon says:

    Boom boom? No, that’s not what Boom is about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT5AQIlmM0I

  18. djvecchitto says:

    Whoa, hey, wow, I casually head over the RPS and there’s an article about the game I made! Thanks for the mention, this is totally unexpected since I made the game around 6 months ago.

    We made this entire game in one month as part of the Something Awful game competition, and due to the time constraints a lot of features I wanted to include were cut. We’re working on an unrelated new game right now called “Star Gods,” which is a metroidvania that takes place in space. Once that game’s complete, we’re going to release it in a bundle with an updated and hopefully-much-improved Icarus Proudbottom (“Turbo HD Remix”), which should have a lot of difficulty fixes, new enemies, and generally a higher level of polish.

    Once Star Gods is finished I’d love to make a new game starring Icarus and Jerry… I have a concept in mind in which he is now a starship captain. Stay tuned!

    • Hydrogene says:

      Thank you Mr chocolate fountain game creator but your game is too difficult. I can’t get past the geese. Damn geese!

      PS: will star gods feature poo propulsion starships?

    • djvecchitto says:

      The game is too difficult, I apologize… when you make a game, you spend so much time playtesting it that you completely forget how hard it is for someone who’s never tried it before. That being said, stay at the top during the goose part.

      Star Gods takes place in a totally unrelated universe. You play as a really lame set of villains who always get their asses kicked, kind of like Team Rocket (or any villain from a 90s cartoon).

      I don’t mean to break your heart or anything, but I don’t think the next Icarus Proudbottom game will feature poops at all. I’m sorry, but I just can’t let myself make another game all about poops. That can’t be my legacy. The real question is – what is funnier than poops?…

  19. Gpig says:

    Really enjoyed that. I thought the dialogue was really good and kept thinking “this is amazing/clever” throughout it. I expected to just play for a couple of minutes and be bored with it, but I really wanted to read more lines and see what happened next. Plus killing the ducks was fun. Really surprised at how good this was. I’m not interested in an HD remix but I’m not interested in those in general.

    I played Space Funeral this week and can see why it was on the 25 games of Christmas last year, but if the hivemind had known about this sooner it should have made it instead. It’s celebratory in the way games like World of Goo and Just Cause are.

  20. fuggles says:

    That was amazing- game of the year so far for me! Game wasn’t too hard asides from those geese…*shudders*.

    Next game should be about a pooping horse racing in a grand prix.

  21. pipman3000 says:

    finally a protagonist i can relate to

  22. GameOverMan says:

    So essentially, it’s a crap game.

  23. bildo says:

    “it’s about a man propelled through the air by an unstoppable spray of shit from his bottom.”

    Could it have come from anywhere else?

  24. MinisterofDOOM says:

    A great man once said:
    “Somebody get this freakin’ duck away from me!!!!”