Silent Asshat: Stealth Bastard
Taking up my trusty, weatherbeaten pickaxe'o'electronic delights, I chip another gleaming nugget from the mountain of indie games lurking in the RPS inbox. What new gem will I mine this time? It has a fine name indeed. That name is Stealth Bastard: Tactical Espionage Arsehole. It has a core philosophy, and that philosophy is "why does stealth need to be so slow?" Turns out, it doesn't.
Bits of Portal, bits of Super Meat Boy, bits of Splinter Cell, yet a tone and character entirely of its own, and with none of all that tedious waiting around business. Having nosed at Alpha Protocol for the first time over the weekend and run screaming from its horrific hacking minigame (don't worry, I'll persevere), I can't tell you how grateful I am to just have to press a button and watch a computer's digital defences crumble before me.
Inexplicably, Stealth Bastard - from some of the chaps at Explodemon creators Curve Studios - is entirely free. It shouldn't be, but let's be grateful anyway. It even has a built-in level creator.
I'll have more to say about this when I'm not about to embark on a free-form adventure in a snow-bound fantasy land (spoilers!), so in the meantime I'll make you watch this here trailer and then nod you in the full game's rather tasty direction.
Oh, and if you need another reason to play it, its key developer Bidds contributed to our Poached Egg feature last week. What greater seal of approval could you wish for?
ADAM APPROACHES BEARING AN OBJECT: This seal of approval is probably the one you were wishing for. It's a massive engraving of me to be plunged into dripping hot wax that depicts me saying "Stealth Bastard is spiffing" while beckoning from a shadowy nook.