GTA Online teases Gunrunning update with first look

Gunrunning brings upgrades to the Tampa

Let’s pretend for a moment that the best part of GTA Online [official site] isn’t seeing who can go furthest when leaping off the Hollywood sign and deploying a parachute to scoot to victory before having a little bike race to the foot of a hill. Have I lost you already? Fine. I’ll wait for you to finish the bike race.

Back? Okay. So there’s apparently an update called “Gunrunning” coming. I’m tentatively interested but only because of the running part and not the gun part. Running with guns sounds unsafe. Even more unsafe than running with scissors.

“Southern San Andreas’ illegal weapons trafficking industry rises to the surface in Gunrunning, a massive new update coming this June to GTA Online,” Rockstar say.

Lifehack: This man has found that gardening gloves help him with his gun-holding

WAIT WAIT WAIT that sounds like crimes and not like running around having fun at all.

“Dotted throughout Blaine County are hatches – look into these mysterious properties on the Maze Bank Foreclosure site and you’ll find sprawling underground headquarters for sale, ready to be stocked with new military grade vehicles and weapons manufacturing equipment capable of developing highly sought after offensive and defensive technologies. As the residents of Los Santos know, the only thing more fun than crime is profit and should you choose to invest in this new business, some extremely shady customers are ready to pay top dollar for what you can deliver.”

Hatch

PFFT. When I was a GTA Online child we had to make our own fun. We had to walk a million miles to the nearest car stealing shop and we ate coal for breakfast and fought rival gangs with our trusty yoyos and got stuck trying to drive down staircases in police cars.

I mean, sure, go and be interested in your gunrunning and your fidget spinners and your star wars but know that I’m judging you.

11 Comments

  1. BlazeHedgehog says:

    I’m still very bitter we never got a singleplayer expansion.

    • Asurmen says:

      I’m still bitter they never got rid of the never ending load screens in multiplayer.

    • fish99 says:

      Same here. Ballard of Gay Tony was sooooooo good, and even the dumb biker expansion was pretty good in it’s own way. There’s so much potential in the GTAV city they’ve built for some more story.

    • Flavorfish says:

      I just hope the incredibly successful monetization of online doesn’t intrude on my single player experience next game.

  2. 4004 says:

    Those (kinda)DLCs and GTAO probably make more money for R* than a hypothetic story DLC

    • BlazeHedgehog says:

      I’m not interested in what makes Rockstar more money. I’m interested in what is fun for me, and that would be a singleplayer expansion.

      • Darth Gangrel says:

        That’s right! It’s easy to understand why they’re not making the things we as individuals want, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it. Giving people what they want is important, but giving me what *I* personally want is more important (to me).

  3. Dan Griliopoulos says:

    I read that as Gurning and am now horribly disappointed.

  4. morse says:

    I wish all the vehicles were capable of auto-cannon turrent modifications and cow catchers, a la Interstate ’76. Pity it looks limited to one or two models.

    • Z-Interceptor says:

      Wow I’m glad there’s still people around to remember those great games. Kudos to you, sir!

      Indeed, something along those lines would be awesome.

    • Fitzmogwai says:

      I saw that picture and my immediate reaction was “Someone’s remade Interstate ’76!”

      Then I read the copy and felt empty inside.

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