Fruit Mystery: “It gives them the dangerous poos.”

By Kieron Gillen on July 13th, 2008 at 1:31 pm.

Zoological mishaps are becoming a perhaps unexpected theme in recent gaming, what with IGN’s announcement of Squids not being animals and all. It continues with Brett Graham’s Fruit Mystery. Brought to our attention by Jonathan “Braid” Blow over at Qt3, it’s a high-drama flashgame about trying to feed various animals fruit. It’s highly educational. “I’m not entirely sure what just happened to me,” said Alec after I forced him to play it, “but I’m never feeding animals fruit again”. Truth.

In associated news: Squids are one of the four fundamental forces of the universe, alongside the Weak Force, the Strong Force and Gravity.

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37 Comments »

  1. Gap Gen says:

    Go Superconducting QUantum Interference Devices!

  2. Redford says:

    This game is pure liquid terror. On a side note, you get the same ending no matter if you feed all the animals zero fruits, so apparently the gorilla is just going to have to hate me until time itself grinds to a halt.

  3. MetalCircus says:

    What the utter fuck did I just play? Haha.

  4. Flint says:

    I’M SORRY STEVE!

  5. EyeMessiah says:

    GOTY.

  6. Janek says:

    Educational AND entertaining! 100% out of 10 stars. Plus.

  7. Jeremy says:

    I’m going to have nightmares now.

  8. nihohit says:

    THAT MAN IS THE MESSIAH OF STUPID!

  9. Novotny says:

    I’ve learnt a lot today and it’s only just gone three

  10. spd from Russia says:

    OH NO! My eyes bleed! My ears bleed!
    make it stop!

  11. redrain85 says:

    Limbo of the Lost finally has some competition!

  12. Arsewisely says:

    It reminded me a bit of the league against tedium, a poorly spelled incarnation thereof anyway.

  13. H says:

    What. The hell.

  14. Lambo says:

    I’m sorry about all the you know…fruit…..and stuff, Zoo Keeper Steve. :(

  15. Paul S says:

    Crumbs.

    I don’t know what I was expecting, but that wasn’t it.

  16. absence says:

    surely a monkey can eat a banana

  17. Mans From Below says:

    This is one of those “the only way to win is not to play” games, only with polar bears choking on olives instead of armageddon.

  18. fanciestofpants says:

    Wow.

    So.

    Fucking.

    .. Awesome.

  19. Andrew says:

    This is the best thing I have seen all week.

  20. tom says:

    i won!

  21. Heliocentric says:

    Steve looked happy, even though he was sad inside.

  22. Sahagin says:

    I didn’t even feed the animals! Noooooo!

  23. Martin says:

    Haha, it’s JeffK all over again – only interactive. :)

  24. Malagate says:

    But the Lion/Tiger likes the lychees…
    …even if he did die maybe…
    …but I’d do it again!
    I REGRET NOTHING, ZOO KEEPER STEVE!

  25. Will Tomas says:

    *sigh*

  26. Brokenbroll says:

    Terrible and lacking in the funny department, it makes some of the worst stuff on Adult Swim look like legitimate humor.

  27. Jonathan says:

    Say what you like, killing a snake with a pineapple is as hardcore as you can get. Sorry Steve but I don’t regret what I’ve done. Sorry about making them do a deadly poo.

  28. Jonathan says:

    Say what you like, killing a snake with a pineapple is as hardcore as you can get. Sorry Steve but I don’t regret what I’ve done. Sorry about making them do a deadly poo and getting you fired from every job ever.

  29. Razor says:

    I hate you…

    … for making me click that link =P

  30. Zero says:

    That is the DUMBEST DAMN THING I have ever seen in my life.

    Ever.

  31. Larington says:

    Bizzare

  32. Gap Gen says:

    That said, I ate a lot of fruit yesterday, and they weren’t kidding about the dangerous poos.

  33. Richard Clayton says:

    Jesus. Christ. What happened…

    Its like an A.D.D. simulator.

    What a nutter…

  34. Psychopomp says:

    SALTED CASHEWS ARE THE WORST THING TO FEED A LION YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!

  35. rei says:

    Apparently dogs love them, though. No liquid poo!

  36. Glove says:

    My god, I was in fucking hysterics playing this thing. Now I have a headache, too. Sorry Steve :(

  37. Premium User Badge

    freakoftheuniverse says:

    On the very rare chance that anyone’s actually looking for this, the website disappeared off the web a few months ago.

    Fortunately, we have the Internet Wayback Machine: http://web.archive.org/web/20100128052758/http://home.wildit.net.au/hellohelloben/mystery.html

    Also have a look at the rest of the website. It’s just as deranged as Fruit Mystery. There’s even his actual resume which he photographed on the floor.