Bagger Simulator 2008: Can you dig it?

By Kieron Gillen on September 2nd, 2008 at 10:43 am.

I would date this machine if it asked me
Yes you can! If only for five minutes. After our recent lovely experiences with playing German demos and computer gaming simulations of pretty tedious jobs involving heavy machinery, when “Bill” pointed us in the direction of the Deutsch-only demo of Bagger Simulator 2008 we took one look at the video of enormous sand-moving machines and had to immediately pull on our hard hats and have a crack.

Sadly, you don’t get a chance to drive the monstrous pictured machine in the demo (Or maybe you do – it is in German, after all, so it could be hiding in the coils of their Teutonic tongue). Instead, you get a chance to drive what I’m going to call a digger, if only to give someone in the comments thread to have a chance to chip in and tell me it’s actually called Her Majesty’s Holy Soil Shunter or something.

Anyway – here’s my little baby.

Sexy Bagger

As you see with the vehicles crossed out on the left, there’s other things to drive, but I’m stuck with this chap. He’s got two sets of controls – movement and the shovel-thing (Which can be lifted and tilted). I Immediately set to work playing with the sand to discover it’s got some kind of (er) sand modeling physics, so you can move the stuff around. Which is handy in a game based around enormous earth moving machines.

So starts my quest to find something to do. Sadly, there’s not actually anything.

Sexy, sexy Bagger

I’m actually relatively experienced with building sites – the word “relatively” being key, as it’s in comparison with the rest of the weak-limbed RPS-team. My Dad’s a builder, so I spent a fair chunk of time working summer holidays hefting hods and applying grout, which taught me valuable life lessons like “Do anything to avoid a job that actually involves real work”. However, I never really had a proper crack at any of the machinery. Clearly, this grated somewhat – diggers are kinda awesome. I suspect it’s these fantasies which Bagger 2008 exists to fulfil, so as I’m playing I’m trying to show my Dad exactly how great I’d have been if I’d been put in charge of several tons of metal.

I do this by working out how much havoc I can cause. So I pick up a mass of sand, and trundle off to a the nearest machine, which I’m going to call an Ostrich-Head Digger. At which point I discover there doesn’t appear to be any collision detection with the vehicles, as pictured above. This means my plan of burying the other machines under piles of sand is ruined.

Man!

Instead, I dump the sand through it and go zooming off the ramp on the right.

Sexy, sexy, sexy Bagger, you're no double-bagger, you.

Since I can’t do anything here, all is left is escape. I work out how to accelerate and speed off to try and break through the exit. No collision detection, alas, only works on vehicles, so I come to a halt. I petulantly dump my sand there and wonder what to do next.

At which point my five minutes is up. Which is appropriate, as five minutes is about as long as I worked on a site before slacking off for tea anyway.

As far as I can work out, all you can do in Bagger 2008 is move sand around, with no discernible purpose. Well, maybe there’s sophisticated Role-playing elements I’ve missed or something.

Anyway – here’s a video of it in action, enlivened with some impressively inappropriate eurohouse.

You can download it from here.

I have no idea what “Bagger” means.

, , .

84 Comments »

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  1. Meat Circus says:

    Bagger is a Teutonic manufacturer of bucket wheel excavators. It’s a niche business.

  2. Jonas says:

    I’m not an expert on sims, but surely even they need to present you with some sort of challenge or at the very least a purpose, eh? What exactly is the point of this?

    I like the behaviour of the sand though. Eh…

  3. The Sombrero Kid says:

    i call them mecha tyranosaurs and imagine them rampaging the country side as a Giant weapon platform of death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    is that just me?

  4. Okami says:

    http://dict.leo.org/?lp=ende&from=fx3&search=bagger

    EDIT: The music really is awesomly bad. What’s the deal with german gamers and really bad techno music?

  5. jamscones says:

    Unlocking the Bagger 288 Gran Turismo was a real let-down. 0.6km/h races are not very exciting.

  6. Simes says:

    This is why I love this site.

  7. aldo says:

    Presumably as opposed to Halo: Tea Bagger simulator 2003

  8. suchchoices says:

    this music makes me ill

  9. AbyssUK says:

    What will they do next! A tunnelling machine simulator? Deep Sea Mining Hero ? A Mars Rover Sim with real-time delay ? VR Paint drying? Seriously… they can’t be any money in this surely..

  10. Jim Rossignol says:

    A tunneling machine sim would be awesome.

  11. MartinG says:

    The user comments at the Gamesload.de site are not encouraging. Btw, this company also has published a garbage disposal simulator called ‘Müllabfuhr-Simulator 2008′

  12. AbyssUK says:

    When will it end…

  13. Leelad says:

    Please bear inmind that when mocking german techno that it’s not properly “german” if there is no 8foot tall bleach blonde 50 year old man shouting over it.

  14. Jonas says:

    I was just about to suggest a telephone salesman simulator, but I think that might actually be a pretty hilarious dialogue tree based game.

  15. Taximan says:

    Admittedly, I think the sand physics look pretty nice. Now Why doesn’t someone make a meteorite-impact/Doomsday/Tunguska event indie game using that? Or just use that for some WWI game for creating dynamic crater-shelter in No Man’s Land.

    Spent some time last summer with (semi) heavy machinery as a groundskeeper at Helsinki’s Linnanmäki themepark. One of these actually. Was great fun. Rain or shine, get up before dawn, get to the park, drive a tractor with a dozer/scoop thingie, spend several hours while most of the city sleeps schleping stuff around, chicaning around confined spaces at high speeds, blasting Wolfmother/Clutch/Amon Tobin/Squarepusher/Pete Tosh/Radio Helsinki/Basso Radio from the in-tractor radio at loud volumes.

    So the streaming video is a pretty realistic indication of the work. It should just include great impact pranging physics when you bump into *anything* you thought would be solid, and should make you sweat bucketloads during fine weather since you’re basically stuck in a poorly ventilated greenhouse from the driver’s cabin. Still, maybe its more fun when you get paid for it.

    Strange then. Some games’ subjects are fun when you do them in real life (err… piloting heavy machinery), while others are things no-one would want to do in real life (err… anything involving violence basically).

  16. Arnulf says:

    Interesting sidenote: you pronounce “bagger” exactly like the english “bugger”.

    Go figure.

  17. Surgeon says:

    Okami says:

    EDIT: The music really is awesomly bad. What’s the deal with german gamers and really bad techno music?

    Please don’t say that Okami, I fear for your safety.
    If you call that nonsense Techno, you suffer the wrath of the Belleville Three smashing down your door and forcing you listen to that Euro cheese fest until your head explodes.

  18. Ragnar says:

    @Jonas

    I suggest a telephone sanitizer simulator.

  19. Flint says:

    I first read it as “Badger Simulator”. The truth was disappointing.

  20. davidalpha says:

    bagger (in dutch) means: “slick, the stuff on the bottom of a lake or pond”

    Theres also a verb Bagger, which means “to remove bottom of lake stuff”

  21. Rudolf says:

    whoever has enough time on their hands to play stuff like this is either of the following, check which applies:
    a) masochist
    b) lottery winner, nothing better to do
    c) hardcore gamer (finished WoW on 3-6 servers already)
    d) stupid

    Seriously, this “game” was reviewed in this month’s “PC Games”. They mocked it through half a page, hillarious read ;)

  22. Ben Abraham says:

    I keep hearing the lyrics to the song as “Get on the floor with the vomit shoes and more” or something… Pretty sure that’s not quite right.

  23. Forceflow says:

    They should have dubbed it Sands and Time.

  24. Schtee says:

    I fucking live for euro-thump.

  25. Biff says:

    It’s the logical evolution of sandbox gaming.

  26. Yann Best says:

    Eurohouse is /never/ inappropriate.

  27. Feet says:

    That music really is impressively inappropriate.

    I’m quite charmed by it!

  28. Rudolf says:

    and here I was thinking that the authors of this blog were all a&b’s ;)

  29. hydra9 says:

    @Ben Abraham:
    I actually think it’s ‘the vomit you adore.’ Seriously.

  30. phuzz says:

    @biff
    you win the internets.

  31. Jochen Scheisse says:

    “Bagger” actually translates as “mechanical digger”. Used as a verb (anbaggern) it’s also widely accepted slang for trying to hit on a member on the opposite sex in a blunt manner.

    Also, this somewhat takes me back to a time where sandbox gaming was about making sand cakes and driving my Bagger to erect mighty sand castles…ah, good times. I wonder if you can build sand castles in the game.

  32. AndrewC says:

    If I could put on my Paul Barnett hat for a moment (which is furry), aren’t most games tidy-ing simulators – where you go around an environment messy with discarded health and ammo packs and various pests and tidy it all up? And MMOs’ left-click grind-a-thon seems less involving, gameplay wise, than driving a tractor around.

    And if I could stereotype all of you into the same strawman for a moment (thanks), you lot are bloody typical you are – harping on about how a good game can be about anything until such time as as you are faced with a game that doesn’t involve killing Orcs. You lot, I ask you.

  33. _Nocturnal says:

    In my language (Bulgarian), taken from god knows where, “bagger” means precisely “excavator”, so… yeah, it fits.

    In other news, I stick to my thesis that all of these ridiculous simulators could benefit a great deal from the inclusion of zombies in areas other than their target audience. In this case, for example: Sand – boring. Zombies – fun!
    Instant win!

  34. Calabi says:

    Why is it? when you think about these things they sound really cool, but when they build the games they are so crap and boring.

    If you want to be a train driver, play Train sim and you’ll be cured of that aberation.

    I guess that cant have the real fun stuff of dropping sand on peoples heads, and driving up a motorway backwards because it might encourage kids and cause anarchy.

  35. Kelwyn says:

    Ich finde das Spiel richtig Mega-affen-titten-geil!!! Da kann ich mal so richtig die Sau rauslassen. Yippie.
    Übrigens echt heftige Mucke ^^ ;D

    For the not germans speakers: I LOVE THIS GAME AND MUSIC SO MUCH. ME HOPES THAT THERE CAN WILL BE A MULTIPLAYERS FUNCTIONING.

  36. cliffski says:

    And people say MY games are boring or directionless. I have been outdone. This makes ship simulator look like Call of Duty.

  37. Meat Circus says:

    @Cliffski:

    I hope you’re viewing this as a direct challenge.

  38. TheBard says:

    One of these giant Schaufelradbagger in the headline picture actually stands not far away from where I live. I went to such brown coal pit with a group last year. They mine brown coal to burn it in coal plants for energy. The scars in the earth left by this are enourmous, but they plant huge woodlands on areas where there is no more coal to be found, which makes really great recreational areas with lakes etc.

    One of the brown coal Tagebauten (mining areas) can be seen here:
    http://maps.google.de/?ie=UTF8&ll=50.913208,6.502533&spn=0.059311,0.148487&t=h&z=13

    you can actually zoom in and see several of these Schaufelradbagger there, though the most of them only push sand around. The ones on the coal are attached to a huge transportation network which brings the coal directly to the power plants in the vicinity.

  39. affront says:

    No no no Jonas, you have it all wrong:
    A telephone salesman simulator…
    MMORPG!
    Using Voice over IP.

    Or even better using the players’ real mobile phone numbers, so that you can annoy them to buy your stuff during real life.

    I’d play that.

  40. Lake says:

    When do the Constructicons form Devastor?

  41. Arnulf says:

    Hmm.

    c) hardcore gamer (finished WoW on 3-6 servers already)

    I want to meet the person that “finished” WoW.

    Seriously. That must be a deranged individual.

    On second thoughts, maybe not…

  42. antonymous says:

    Everyone knows the Brits have no miners anymore and thats the source of all the obvious envy, they can’t dig :)

  43. James says:

    “i call them mecha tyranosaurs and imagine them rampaging the country side as a Giant weapon platform of death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    is that just me?”

    I can say with some authority that it isn’t. They have quite a menacing roar when provoked by smaller earthmovers.

    EDIT: And I think that this is possibly the most funny comments thread I’ve seen on RPS. Well done.

  44. sbs says:

    This is not even the worst of all concepts. They make busdriving sims, subway sims, frickin’ waste disposal sims! It’s just… disgraceful.

  45. The Sombrero Kid says:

    IMAGINE THE DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. Oddbob says:

    I really want a game that looks awesome and you get to play a bucket wheel excavator tearing up the land.

    Someone make it happen, please.

  47. MeestaNob! says:

    This is so pointless I want it. Am I broken, or just amongst friends?

  48. Noc says:

    So I read the article.

    And I thought to myself “So this is a . . . sandbox game!” And I felt all clever, and resolved to put it in a comment. Then some jerk (cough) did it first.

    Now I just need to think of a way to mod this into Dwarf Fortress.

  49. Little Green Man says:

    Um can the guys who run this site PLEASE help me!!! Whenever I look at the three latest posts by you guys it thinks I am logged in as you. On the latest one it asks me whether I want to mark comments as spam and thinks I am Alec Meer, and won’t let me comment.