By Alec Meer on July 12th, 2009 at 2:49 pm.
On this day of rest, do spare a thought for those damaged by our hobby of choice:
(Via John Scalzi via BoingBoing)
Rock, Paper, Shotgun
Living With First-Person Shooter Disease
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I too suffer from an FPS related illness: Compulsive Reloader Syndrome.
It has gotten me killed more times than I care to remember.
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Oh well at least he doesn’t run around with a knife in his hand.
I really had to laugh at the Street Fighter guy, I hope I also leave the world like that.
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[entirely pointless assertion that because I have already seen this surely everyone in the world has], and this is better
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JK: That was shithouse, give me my minutes back.
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I too have an FPS related disease, much the same as the guy in the video.
Every so often I accidentally get my 9mm out in front of the wife.
Usually she just laughs, and goes off muttering something about how size doesn’t matter :(
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@JamesT: boo, it covers more stupid fps things than the fps disease one :p
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I’ve always wondered when an FPS is going to be made where you character holds weapons realistically. This video really points out how silly the current standards are.
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This seems suspiciously like a viral campaign for ‘Modern Warfare 2′…. Still awesome, though.
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The street fighter death at the end had me smiling.
That other “quake in real life” video is awful. It’s the worst kind of observational humour; all the comedy value of explaining why a joke is funny, without the joke.
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@JKjoker: And that’s exactly its problem IMO. The video you linked tried to fit in everything and the kitchen sink – and it did so in the most strident “This is, like, SO DUMB!” tone. Quantity doesn’t make for good humour, nor does the need to shout at the audience.
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Ook, mayhap there is a cultural humour clash going on here between the two different videos presented here today.
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Thats exactly how I get up pavements
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@ JKjoker: That’s true but it’s not about content, it’s about comedy and I just didn’t find the clip you linked to funny where as the one Alec posted made me giggle like a ninny.
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the only funny thing about fps disease is the way he pulls out things -_-, my funny bone is obviously misaligned with yours
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Strafing in combat actually does occur and doesn’t look ridiculous (in reference to JK), see: almost any boxing match, or any one on one firefight scene in a movie (the matrix, despite being unrealistic has a perfect scene in which this happens, but it’s much more common in Westerns. Real life firefights often are now mostly between people with assault rifles, which are much easier to lead with than pistols, and strafing doesn’t match the protection cover gives, but in a limited cover environment, strafing is almost absolutely necessary to not die.
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@Chemix, remember that video is OLD, they refer to the tendency to strafe *all-the-time* in old fps you don’t see that in newer ones (you still see the bunny hopping tho)
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Let’s not forget about our all too favourite Counter-Struck!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxq2QbMg-H8
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Sometimes, just sometimes, American humour doesn’t entirely suck. The best moment was switching between items in the kitchen. But it didn’t do too much more than raise a smile. I suspect someone such as Paul Whitehouse might make better use of the material.
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Most of the video is kinda lame, but the street fighter bit makes it all worth it.
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that was really funny.
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I think I have a mild form of that. I find myself side-stepping (a and d in wasd movement) in the real world a little more than necessary, occasionally.
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That is definitely one of my top-5 funniest stroke-related deaths.
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@Max I always felt OFP/ArmA was best at the old “you are a head on a body” thing. You only see your gun if you’re, well, looking at it.
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Put me in the mildly amused until the end group. I laughed like an idiot at the Street Fighter stroke-death-guy.
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Sucker-punched by the ending.
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Awesome!
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JKjoker, Chemix:
You also need to realize that strafing in FPS is mostly not done because you want the sideways movement itself, but because you can not move in a different direction than your PoV is facing without it. It’s a necessity to emulate that – if you could look around on the move without altering your direction (or the other way around) it’d be much, much less common, leaving aside that whole speed gain via mechanics exploiting. Plus you can’t simulate real-life evasion moves in an FPS with current control schemes without it becoming a clusterfuck, and strafing makes an acceptable substitute. So that whole “strafing is stupid” argument is a wee bit short-sighted/silly.
“the only funny thing about fps disease is the way he pulls out things”
I agree. Didn’t find SF-guy funny either, probably because I can only vaguely recall a shareware of SF2 Turbo way back when and only ever hated beat em ups. Well, maybe not hated, but generally disregarded as being un-fun, for me.
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Old, but good fun :)
I have GTA disease – after prolonged sessions, walking in the streets, I catch myself wanting to jump into the nearest hot car and just zoom off, alarm going off :D
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@Shadrach:
I remember I saw this really funny Dave Chappelle bit where he went about his day as if he were in GTA. I saw it on youtube; s’probably been removed by now, though I didn’t look hard enough.
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I found six ancient 9mm bullets in my gravel drive while raking leaves. Now I cant get rid of the uneasy feeling of low ammo.
(Theyre corroded green and still live. I think someone was using the quarry as a firing range. UK btw).
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Wouldn’t Duke Nukem’s Disease come with coprolalia as a secondary symptom?
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Unfortunately I have some air pistols I use to accentuate my fps walk when the house is empty with their satisfying, plastic heft.
Dear god…
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Funny but a bit painful to watch.
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I have a nailgun at home (a Pulsar 2000), it use compressed air. (note: the nailgun is one of the quake guns).
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Thanks, hadn’t seen that before and enjoyed it.
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I enjoyed the video and felt even cooler that RPS reads (or at least knows of John Scalzi).
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Excellent stuff. I had a friend who had Mortal Kombat syndrome
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The heart attack at the end was awesome ahahahah
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Brilliant!
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@Chemix
“…but in a limited cover environment, strafing is almost absolutely necessary to not die.”
No, no it isn’t. If there is no cover available, you go prone, you don’t run around, completely ruining your aim, while doing absolutely nothing to bother any semi-competent shot. Even if you *do* have cover, going prone and poking your head around it is often the best option.
The prone position is rather underused in games. Soldiers fight laying down, not standing up.
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@Minicow: Yes, but going prone makes you an easy target because you’re not moving, so it goes both ways. :o
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@Stupoider: Yes, but the tiny speed a human can move at will make no real difference to anyone with an inkling of marksmanship. Turning your profile from a 6 foot tall one into a 6 inch tall one, however, will.
If you can actually find anyone on this Earth who knows anything about combat that actually advocates jittering around in an open field to protect yourself, rather than going prone, I will immediately put my face through my computer screen. :P
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What a brave, brave man. Truly tragic…
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@Minicow: Oh, I thought we were talking about a situation in game. :S
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@Stupoider
Whoops, sorry. I knew I should’ve included the full quote:
“Real life firefights often are now mostly between people with assault rifles, which are much easier to lead with than pistols, and strafing doesn’t match the protection cover gives, but in a limited cover environment, strafing is almost absolutely necessary to not die.”
Yeah, I was talking about real life. In many games, jittering around in the open is probably more useful than just going prone, but in real life, and realistic shooters, that’s certainly not the case.
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@Minicow: Aaah, then I fully agree!
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@Vae Victus: I suffer from the same illness and it’s bad, really bad. Maybe we should start a support group of our own.
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Well I was chuckling, and there were laughs at the item selection and the unexpected SF death at the end.
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Deploy the arm!
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@Minicow
I don’t know anything about real combat, but I think the original quote was not referring to military fighting. Obviously, hitting the ground is the best bet in that situation due to, as you say, the marksmanship of the enemy and the accuracy of the weapons. I would have thought dropping to the ground when in a gun fight with ordinary pistols would not be your best option.
Funny video.
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After playing Jedi:Outcast a few years ago I felt frustrated that I couldn’t use Force move on things. Particularly grabbing remote controls that were just out of reach. It all seemed so plausible and natural in game.
I never resorted to walking into walls after playing Portal so maybe I got better? Don’t let me anywhere near Mirror’s Edge!
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Yeah, and during my brief obsession with Black & White it was always infuriating that I couldn’t just grab and uproot any tree I could see.
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What a rubbish, he has a girl at his place. Must be fake!
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(linkback) Funny or Lame? Living With First-Person Shooter Disease [VOTE] – http://www.pikk.com/80b9b
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The inventory swapping bit killed me. Cereal, OJ, 9mm, butter knife.
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I’m prone to this disorder, if someone farts near me I turn round and shove them away with near deadly accuracy and am vaugely dissapointed that I’m not covered in bile and having to fend of a horde of rabid half dead.
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@Vandelay
“Real life firefights often are now mostly between people with assault rifles, which are much easier to lead with than pistols, and strafing doesn’t match the protection cover gives, but in a limited cover environment, strafing is almost absolutely necessary to not die.”
Yeah, it was referring to military fighting.
In a close-range fight, of course going prone is useless. You should immediately move for cover. If there is none, just stand and shoot, it’ll be over in a matter of seconds anyway, and jittering around isn’t going to do you any good. Under no circumstances is strafing back and forth in the open a good idea in real life.
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I do not know about actual combat, but I think the original report was not referring to military combat. Clearly, type the ground is the best bet in that situation because, as you say, the marksmanship of the enemy and accuracy of weapons. I can think of that falls to the ground when a gun fight with a pistol normally would not be your best choice. Directory Submission Classified Ad Submission
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