A Game For My Dad: The Rambo Trailer

By Craig Pearson on July 12th, 2013 at 8:00 am.

Look at that 'do!
The previous trailer for the Rambo: The Video Game game showed nothing but scenes from the movies. Reef Entertainment laughingly called it a “cinematic teaser”, which is really silly because there’s no teasing when we’ve all seen those movies. It was just cinematic. Now there’s an actual in-game trailer, and while it looks pretty basic and a bit stinky, I urge you to stick with it. Rambo’s hair is magnificent, and the ending made me laugh. It is below.

This is based on the first three movies, so Burlap Rambo, Mud Rambo, and Shiny Rambo all make an appearance. That’s interesting: if this really is going to follow the plot of the movies, come the third movie Rambo was fighting alongside the Mujahideen Rebels, because back when it was being made the US and the USSR were still acting like Hulk Hogan and Nikolai Volkoff. Rambo was there to help Afghanistan! I can’t wait to see how they’ll deal with that. They do show him killing the police, so maybe they won’t shy away from such things?

Another thought, because this has sparked off some neurons: they got lucky with Shiny Rambo. He already looks like a bad character model, so they don’t need to worry about making him look human. Stallone’s one facial expression probably helped as well.

Mud Rambo is hilarious. I hope there’s a first-person sequence where you’re lathering it all over yourself. Anything less that complete adherence to the source material, and I will be double-checking my dad, will upset me.

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61 Comments »

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  1. FurryLippedSquid says:

    Never mind the barnet, that arm in the first pic is an abomination.

    • int says:

      Oh yeah! Shiny Rambo. The most rare Rambo there is so make sure to save your master ball.

      • bstard says:

        Well the budget on voice acting wasnt fully utilized, so they could spend some more on shinyness!

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        Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

        It is a delicious sugary glaze, like on a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

      • Velko says:

        Could also be that he’s entirely made of plastic.

      • Shadowcat says:

        Don’t you realise that wrapping your entire upper body in plastic is exactly the kind of second-nature jungle camouflage technique that saved Rambo’s life on countless occasions back in ‘Nam.

        • bstard says:

          Not many people know this, but plastic camouflage resurrected him from the valley of death on more than one occasion.

      • analydilatedcorporatestyle says:

        Rambo Baby Oil preorder bonus

    • SominiTheCommenter says:

      OPEN YOUR MIND, QUAID!

  2. Spacewalk says:

    Dedicated to the gallant people of Afghanistan was how Rambo III ended which is definitely going to be a hard sell these days.

    • Kobest says:

      Exactly! :)

    • YogSo says:

      Colonel Trautman: You expect sympathy? You started this damn war, now you’ll have to deal with it.

      Zaysen: And we will. It is just a matter of time before we achieve a complete victory.

      Colonel Trautman: Yeah, well, there won’t be a victory. Every day, your war machines lose ground to a bunch of poorly-armed, poorly-equipped freedom fighters. The fact is that you underestimated your competition. If you’d studied your history, you’d know that these people have never given up to anyone. They’d rather die than be slaves to an invading army. You can’t defeat a people like that. We tried; we already had our Vietnam! Now you’re gonna have yours.

  3. crazygeneral23 says:

    I have always thought someone should make a game based on the first rambo, but make it completely open world, imagine how cool it would be stalking though the forest with just your headband and a ka-bar to protect you.

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      blind_boy_grunt says:

      that’s what i actually hoped this would be before starting the trailer. You get hunted all around the area, you have to sneak around, set up traps etc, All while getting pulled back deeper and deeper into the mindset of the killing machine you were trained to be, but still you mustn’t kill anyone. Or you can and maybe change the outcome.

  4. Freud says:

    I think it was mud and not lube he used as camouflage.

  5. Jaks says:

    Jesus that looks awful. I mean really awful.

  6. mrmalodor says:

    Why doesn’t Rambo’s face look like Rambo’s face?

  7. Kobest says:

    I hope they have that scene from Rambo 2 in the game in which Rambo kisses the girl, and 2 seconds later:

    BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM

    And the girl dies.

  8. JonathanStrange says:

    Burlap Rambo didn’t intentionally kill anyone, so we can already safely presume the game doesn’t follow the movies considering the scene shown where he’s cutting some sheriffs throat.

  9. Ovno says:

    He’s like a shiny zombie in that picture…

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    DrScuttles says:

    Cor, that is shiny. But will there be Berkoff?

  11. tomimt says:

    Oh dear god… that looks horrible. What’s with the 80’s iconic characters not translating into good looking games? Nor good games.

  12. Alextended says:

    They could start an epic series on the caliber of the metal gear solid saga if they just converted all the movies into a single diverse game (from stealth to all out action etc). But I guess this will be the standard dodgy movie game with narrow scope.

  13. Don Reba says:

    Made me want to watch the movie again, but play the game — not in the least.

    And the mud Rambo has clipping issues.

    PS: just to prevent any misunderstanding, I am not your dad, dear reader.

  14. tybality says:

    Rambo didn’t kill anyone in the first movie, there was just that guy in the copter who was destabilized and felt down…Well, I don’t think the game will respect this point.

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      lurkalisk says:

      If I’m not mistaken, he did in the book. Whatever that’s worth…

  15. Blackcompany says:

    WTF is up with the elbow in that pic? Is there even an elbow there? Its like some malformed, shiny cyborg arm attached to a stump and photographed, then airbrushed by a first grader too bored to pay attention….

  16. stupid_mcgee says:

    For as much fun as people poke at the Rambo series, and rightfully so in many instances, they have always been based around rather controversial subjects.

    The first Rambo dealt with PTSD (before we even really called it that) and the displacement and alienation from society that many soldiers faced with coming back from Vietnam. Not to mention the severe societal backlash from the Vietnam war that was sometimes unfairly burdened onto the soldiers.

    The second Rambo dealt with numerous POWs that had been left behind by the USA. While the US did work aggressively via diplomatic means, and occasional covert operations, many soldiers perished in POW camps, their remains never returned and their resting place unknown.

    The third Rambo dealt with the war in Afghanistan against the Soviets. A war that was so popularized in the media that not a single American reporter was sent there on official assignment. The Afghan-Soviet War was largely ignored by the American populace. Which is sad, because I’m sure most people would be outraged that, after the Soviets left, it was estimated that there were 30 million landmines dropped; 3 landmines for every person left in Afghanistan.

    The fourth Rambo dealt with Burma. What is now known as Myanmar. Many probably don’t know this, but Burma has been having civil wars off and on since the 40’s and has been under military dictatorship since the 60’s. Numerous accounts of genocides, child soldiers, and religious persecution have been coming out the country for decades, yet it has never garnered any press until the past 6 or so years.

    Yeah, Stallone’s speech slur is funny (it was the reason why a high school drama teacher told him he’d never become a successful actor), and yeah the Rambo flicks have their goofy moments, but at the heart of them there really is a strong message.

    • Skull says:

      Shoot things and the problem vanishes!

    • YogSo says:

      While I wouldn’t go as far as saying the second and third movies go much farher than being the quintaessential “80s action movies”, I really feel the first one blood is usually unfairly dumped with the rest, while it contains very little (nothing?) of mindless shooting and the body count, including serious injuries, stays in single digits. And dat Jerry Goldsmith soundtrack, man!

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      Malibu Stacey says:

      Excellent comment.
      It’s nice to see some actual thought on the internet for a change.

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    Simplisto says:

    As with the ‘Alien’ franchise, the first film was the only good one.

    Boom! I’m out!

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    strangeloup says:

    My prediction: With dreary inevitability, it will turn out to be basically Manshoot: The Manshootening, with bits that try to be controversial and basically aren’t.

  19. Turkey says:

    The thing that weirded me out the most was the original 80s score. You never hear orchestral music like that in a trailer anymore.

    They completely undermined the music with the modern sound effects, though.

  20. Jenks says:

    I’m going to preorder this as long as I can stab the shit out of Brian Dennehy.

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      slerbal says:

      Did he run over your dog or something?

      • jonahcutter says:

        Naw. He harassed Jenks, arrested him without cause, hosed him down, had his deputies billy-club him, and was generally a bully and a douche.

        He pushed Jenks TOO FAR.

  21. apa says:

    There’s a surprising Rambo in this classic music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CYwNWHZuT0 (Green Jelly: Three Little Pigs)

  22. Iskariot says:

    I never took to the Rambo character in the movies. Somehow he managed to only disgust me.
    Even if this was a great game I would not want to play this Rambo character. I would be unable to identify with the protagonist.

    • jonahcutter says:

      The first movie he’s not an American champion mowing down hundreds of enemies.

      In First Blood, he’s very much a PTSD vet. The first film presents a pretty dim view of authority, both civilian police and military. This theme actually does extend through the latter movies somewhat, but gets overwhelmed by the absurd killcount and kneejerk anti-communism.

  23. jonahcutter says:

    Source material adherence check:

    Rambo did NOT kill cops deliberately in the first movie, even with multiple opportunities. Though one died from falling out of a helicopter he threw a rock at.

    Except for sheriff Brian Dennehy. Rambo machine guns him at the very end.

  24. AnotherGamingEnglishman says:

    Jeez… I’m aware that this trailer is clearly a very early look, but it looks like it has the FOV of a bloody telescope. Ah well, I suppose it had to happen eventually. I couldn’t be less enthused by this.

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    JiminyJickers says:

    RAMBO!!!

    I so wish this game wasn’t going to be awful, but not so sure now.