This Is The Scariest Skyrim Mod I’ve Ever Seen

By Nathan Grayson on December 11th, 2013 at 3:00 pm.

What... what on Earth?

[Droning train whistle sounds]

What’s that?

[The sound of an engine chugging, whirring as though fueled by the souls of a thousand blood-puking damned]

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening. This cannot be happening. Quick, stay behind me, and whatever you do, DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY INTO ITS–

The full mod, which turns all of Skyrim’s dragons into horrific, dead-eyed visages of Thomas The Tank Engine, can be found here and here. If you truly know no fear, watch the video below. Then consider how lucky you are to be alive, call your mom, and finally splurge on that nice handbag/litter of puppies/harpoon gun that you’re nearly certain could pierce the armor of a murderous nightmare train you’ve been wanting.

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59 Comments »

  1. rustybroomhandle says:

    Beans. Beans, the musical fruit.
    The more you eat, the more you toot.

    EDIT: Could have posted this piece of non-contributing bollocks on the South Park article too. :)

    • Dog Bane says:

      Beans, beans. Good for your heart.
      The more you eat, the more you fart.

      The more you fart, the more you eat.
      The more you visit the toilet seat.

      • Ergates_Antius says:

        Beans, beans. Good for your heart.
        The more you eat, the more you fart.

        The more you fart, the better you feel.
        Beans, beans for every meal.

  2. stahlwerk says:

    Awards[edit]

    Thomas was the only fictional character included in the Independent on Sunday’s 2009 “Happy List”, recognised alongside 98 real-life adults and a therapy dog for making Britain a better and happier place.[11]

  3. scorcher24 says:

    Skyrim News are so 2012…

    :P

  4. Stepout says:

    I’m not a fan of steampunk, but I guess you can’t train modders to keep engines out of fantasy.

  5. BLACKOUT-MK2 says:

    I don’t know whether to laugh or shit my pants so, at the risk of looking mad, I’ll do both.

    • Swanny says:

      It really is hilariously horrifying, especially the part about 3/4 the way to the end, where Thomas appears on the wall. It was a split second of funny, followed by wanting to nope the fuck out of there. I’d say this mod is on track to be great.

    • Gap Gen says:

      Good save, there. Doing either in isolation would have made you look like a loon.

  6. Eebahgum says:

    It’s bad enough trying to catch a train as it is without having to watch this. Imagine all the platform hopping…

  7. Sakkura says:

    Toot toot, motherfucker.

  8. Viroso says:

    Thomas the Tank Engine is a hardcore show

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MUzA3RmeIM

    You can clearly see how some of those carts, which had little faces mind you, got destroyed beyond repair. You can clearly see the exact moment life abandons that crane.

    • Kerbal_Rocketry says:

      There’s also references to Scrapping, starting from “Stepney the Bluebell Engine” which has a rather morbid illustration of engines being cut up for scrap, and introduced the whole idea to the series. Hell even the TV adaption refers to scrapping!
      The Railway Series were accurate to the point of being actually terrifying in hindsight, the idea of these machines with a mind but no free motion(canonically the engines have no control over themselves and need a driver and fireman).

  9. db1331 says:

    Aw man, I was really looking forward to seeing his face burst through the wall of the tower. Too bad they couldn’t swing that.

  10. KirbyEvan says:

    I’m more of a fan of the Randy Savage dragon myself, but this is still pretty great.

  11. Volcanu says:

    Well I just snorted loudly into my (burning hot) mug of tea at work.

  12. Casimir's Blake says:

    No Ringo? Not interested!

  13. waltC says:

    handbag??!?

  14. Loyal_Viggo says:

    Holy shit! Those images of Thomas approaching closer gave me magic mushroom flashbacks to when a demonic milkfloat induced pure terror into my mind as it slowly whirled out of thick fog in my direction at 4am many years ago…

  15. Turkey says:

    They should mod spider legs on that thing. I think I’m going to go draw spider legs on Thomas the tank engine now.

  16. Fergus says:

    You made me spit my tea! Fantastic!

  17. Silverchain says:

    Sodor the Burninator?

  18. Shooop says:

    Uh-oh. Seems there was an unexpected side effect of the Call of Trainwiz spell.

  19. mpk says:

    Oh god I hope my son never sees this.

  20. GameCat says:

    It reminds me of Blaine from Dark Tower series.

  21. lordfrikk says:

    Looks like Charlie the Choo-Choo in disguise.

  22. Lemming says:

    That is horrifying, and hilarious. The only thing I would’ve done to improve it is having Ringo Starr narrations along with the tooting.

  23. beauwyselaskie says:

    Abby. although Denise`s story is flabbergasting… on wednesday I got themselves a Land Rover Defender from bringing in $9333 this last month an would you believe ten-grand this past month. it’s by-far the most-comfortable job I’ve ever had. I started this 9-months ago and pretty much straight away startad earning over $87… p/h.
    try here……. http://goo.gl/iITlPP

  24. Ross Angus says:

    Wouldn’t Budgie the Helicopter be a more … natural fit?

  25. Universal Quitter says:

    Some character was just going insane with those fireballs at the very end of the video. Invincible NPC vs Invincible dragon, I guess. I like how at one part, someone shouted “it keeps coming back,” as if to gently nudge you along, in case you were somehow overwhelmed by the first three minutes of the game.

  26. Dozer says:

    This is brilliant. As brilliant as camels in the Sahara.

  27. phuzz says:

    So, next time one of my flatmates leaves their Steam open, I’ll be adding this mod.
    I might be a while before they play Skyrim again, but it’ll be worth the wait…

  28. Serrit says:

    Watched this last night, hilarious :-)
    Looks like it’s currently blocked due to copyright issues though… I mean… seriously?! :-(

  29. dman456100 says:

    WTF? Video got taken down due to copyright infringement? Is that just in the United States or is it for everyone.
    Really wanted to watch, looks awesome

  30. full12 says:

    I bit scary how the train from the cartoon “Thomas The Tank Engine”, but I did not like mod is made by a person completely with nothing to do. I prefer the original version of Skyrim and I think this mod will not succeed, because nobody will be interested in downloading it.
    And the drawing “Thomas The Tank Engine” is not well known, although my brother three years old watching it every day, so the players do not understand the inside joke. The mod could make more successful if he used most famous scenes by the people, as in mod Skyrim has ponies or what have naked characters.
    Personally, I prefer Mass Effect 3, the plot is more creative, the gameplay is better and the game has more options than Skyrim. Who plays Skyrim is noob and has no social life, the game is well done, but it lacks many things for it to become good enough and is “This is brilliant.’s As Brilliant as camels in the Sahara.”

    • scritty says:

      Nice story granddad. Don’t agree with a single word you’ve written, but a lovely long rambling tale of your random likes and dislikes that have sweet nothing to do with this post and all of which I disagree with vehemently.
      Please write more

  31. estevao_e_augusto says:

    I thought the train creepy and cool character child drawing ” Thomas the Tank Engine ” , but I did not like the change is made by a person completely unoccupied . I prefer the original version of Skyrim and I think this change will not succeed , because no one will be interested in downloading .
    And the drawing ” Thomas the Tank Engine ” is not well known , although my brother three years old to watch it everyday . So the players do not understand the inside joke , because the target audience of the game are not young people and children from two to four years. The mod could make more successful if he used most famous scenes by the target audience , as a mod for Skyrim that has ponies or naked characters .
    Personally , I prefer Mass Effect 3 , the game is more creative , the gamesplayers are better and the game has more options than Skyrim . Who plays Skyrim is retarded and has no social life , the game is well done , but it needs many things to become good enough .

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